Poetry for The Best Friend

Haiku #1:

In his uniform,

with a T-square in his hand,

he always looks stressed.

Haiku #2:

With disheveled hair

and his oddly large eyebags,

he looks like an owl.

Haiku #3:

An oxymoron

Optimistic pessimist

My best friend is weird.

The Best Friend

His jokes are funny,

he likes wordplay and puns.

He calls me sweetie,

I call him cunt.

He holds a paintbrush,

and I'm proud to tell:

he likes to paint,

and he does so well.

We like the same music and read the same books

Though when he said he doesn't like The Cure—

I shot him dagger looks,

and asked, "Are you sure?"

He nodded and said, "Yes, I am,"

To my added infuriation, his books, he refuses to lend.

And I shook my head and yelled, "Damn!

Now I know this friendship will end!"