February 21, 2010

Friends For[n]ever

When do you call someone a friend? Coming from someone who considers few people as real friends, the answer is important.

Do you consider someone a friend simply because they were introduced to you by a mutual acquaintance? Do you have to know them for months or years before you consider them as a friend, or do you call them a friend mere minutes after you've met?

I used to have a very naive concept of what a friend is. Back then, I thought friendship was when you got along perfectly with someone. I thought that you couldn't consider a person your friend if she annoyed the hell out of you.

This sort of thinking changed when I was in my senior year of high school. Yup, it took me that long to realize it.
My high school best friend was someone I disliked upon meeting. Eventually, I found her to be really great, fun, and understanding; she was that rare someone who was nearly on the same wavelength as myself.
However, there were times when she annoyed me completely. Whether it was her constant rebelling against her parents, or neglecting her schoolwork, there was always something that made me wonder why I put up with her antics.

The realization—that you can't say you love a person if you don't see his imperfections—hit me hard when I did a very, very stupid thing near the end of that year. Instead of backing me up in my crazy/dumb antics, my best friend dragged a very unwilling me towards the right direction. At that moment, I hated her guts so much I wanted to scream, "You're my best friend. I trusted you. I would have thought, of all people, you would back me up! But you ratted me out and screwed me over."
When we met later that day, I apologized, realizing that she did it out of love and concern. Aww. *puppy dog eyes* 

Similarly, I used to think that you could only call someone your best friend if you knew everything about each other. A best friend, to me, was someone to whom you tell all your lock-and-key secrets. 
That's why I always felt kinda guilty when I kept secrets to myself. Privacy, to me back then, was nonexistent between best friends.
That's also why I spoonfed my thoughts to my friends. I thought they wouldn't get to know me if I didn't share everything with them.

It was only this year (could I be a slower learner?) that I've found you don't have to tell your best friends everything. Sure, the important things, you tell him/her. But just because he doesn't know your entire dirty past doesn't mean that he doesn't know you.

Take, for example, my newfound friends in USTe. We've only known each other for less than a year, but I trust them. There are a couple of people in the YC Buddies to whom I tell things I don't tell anyone else, not even my high school best friend.
Another good example is my best guy friend, who knows me pretty well, even if doesn't know half the dumbass things I did way back then. My tarnished history isn't something I'm proud of. I'll get around to telling him in due time. (Hi, Peter Angelo.)

My friends don't know everything about me. No one does. Seriously. I keep secrets from everyone. I don't put all my eggs into one basket.

Oh no, I'm rambling here. Forgive me.

February 18, 2010


This is the title of a play by the Artistang Artlets, the official theater group of the UST Faculty of Arts and Letters. The theme emphasizes the inevitable change and end of everything around us—love, family, and life.

The first story, Kahon, was about a couple. The guy proposed on the same night that the girl was planning to break up with him. It was very One More Chance—the girl felt suffocated because of the guy's need to plan everything out for them. I couldn't help but feel for the girl, especially when she explained that their relationship, instead of making her stronger as a person, destroyed her. 
On a different note, there were these really annoying girls sitting behind us who kept making stupid remarks, like, "Before, she wanted to get married. Now he's proposing, and she refuses?"
How simple-minded can you get? The girl explained her side in great detail to her boyfriend. Seriously.
Besides, don't you know it's rude and annoying to talk during a performance? It's distracting to the actors, who spent a lot of time and effort in preparing the play, and to the audience, who spent good money to see a show, not to hear your inane chatter.

Anyway, the second story, Reunion, is about a family who failed a struggle to stay together. Having grown up with their parents always gone off to work, the children feel resentment towards their family. Each son and daughter had different issues which, after years of bitter silence, finally rose to the surface at the dinner table. The youngest daughter said, "Sanay naman tayong kanya-kanya eh," before she left with her siblings.
Isn't this sad? I mean, my family has its own issues, but at least we stay together, in good times and bad. I just can't imagine living in a home where the people are resentful and awkward. This story reminded me to always appreciate my family—especially my mother, who I dearly love, but who can also be infuriating. ♥

The last story, Eulogy, was the one that brought tears to my eyes. It's about a guy and a girl who've been friends for twenty years. The guy entered a seminary, but admitted that he was in love with the girl. She turned him down, though, even if she loved  him, because: "...alam ko namang dysfunctional ako pagdating sa relationships, eh. Siya na nga lang ang relationship kong matino, sisirain ko pa?" In other words, she found their friendship too valuable to risk for anything, even love.
I thought her choice was incredibly admirable. Sometimes, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming regret that I ever entered a relationship with DJ. He was my best friend. And now... We're total strangers. A promising friendship destroyed just like that. *snaps fingers*
Anyway, the guy in the story eventually becomes a priest, and they continued their friendship several years later. He developed cancer, which devastated the girl because she wasn't ready to let him go. "Sino ba ang taong handang pakawalan ang taong mahal niya?" she said. (I totally worship the girl in this story.)
When the guy died, the girl didn't want to give the eulogy. She sadly admitted that for now, she wanted to keep his memory to herself.

If you've noticed, the theme of the stories is brevity. The non-permanence of things. How everything can change in a minute.

This is the best AA play we've watched yet. I'm hoping for more, better plays. Rock AB!

February 17, 2010

The Past Few Days

Jego's blog inspired me to write daily in my blog about things that happen, instead of just random reflections. So, here I go.

This week is shaping up to be great. Yesterday, I got such an ego boost in my PGC reporting. My topic was the Commission on Elections and the Commission on Audit. Having found these topics to be interesting (especially the first one), I was really enthusiastic about my report, and I prepared for it well. Anyway, I gave my presentation and was able to answer all of my professor's questions. When I finished, she asked the class to give a round of applause, saying that I came to class really prepared. I know I did a good job, but it's much better if someone—especially a professor—acknowledges it. And it wasn't just her praise that made me feel good. As I took my seat, some of my blockmates told me I was great. If that's not enough for an ego boost, what is? :D

Later that afternoon, we had PE. We have an annoying teammate (let's hide her under the name BB), who absolutely refuses to catch the ball, chase after the ball, or do anything that would help the team win. She also applies make-up during class and whines about the dirt on her shoes. I mean, seriously. It's a fucking softball class. If you don't wanna get dirty, you should have taken up Fitness, or Table Tennis. In the meantime, why don't you our team a favor and look alive, for the love of god!

Anyway, it was a close game. Our team needed two points to win. I was up to bat. With sweaty hands, I took the bat and stepped up to the plate.
The catcher threw the ball to the pitcher, who drew her arm back and pitched.
The ball was coming closer... Closer!
To my surprise, I hit the ball. Yay, me! :)
It wasn't a home run, but it wasn't a foul ball either. I got to second base, screaming, "Safe! Safe!" I must have looked like a total dork, but who cares? I was just incredibly happy that I didn't screw up!
Our team won (BB actually made it to home base, practically dragging her feet). If we win the next game, we'll be the champions, and exempted from the Finals. Yay!

I woke up rather late this morning. Since my first class is with a strict professor, I rushed to get ready. I arrived at UST in record time, around 6:20AM. Get this: I was the first one in our class to arrive. It's not just an achievement, it's a miracle! But then, I remembered the ghost stories about our building, and I refused to stay alone in a cold classroom, so I left to buy a Cadbury chocolate bar. When I returned, a lot of my classmates were already there. No one witnessed my once-in-a-blue-moon early arrival. *sigh*

You know what's annoying? It's when you rush to go to school and find out that your professors aren't coming to class. We were supposed to have four classes today, and only one professor showed up. Worse still, it was the last subject. I could have had three more hours of sleep if I knew.

At lunch, Peter Angelo, Jegoww and I were supposed to go to Gateway. But then Kirstie invited us to eat, so we happily agreed. I really missed her!

We had lunch at Shakey's. I think I was a bit of a primadonna, asking to change the flavor of the pizza just because I don't eat veggies. Thankfully, no one minded. It was Peter's treat, by the way.
When the food arrived, we were having so much fun, we could hardly eat. I didn't even mind that when Peter Angelo pulled a trick on me (and made me look like a total dumbass), Kat and Kirstie took a video. :))
(By the way, I kept the drawing of the pig, just like Kirstie predicted.)

When the "party" ended, I gave Peter Angelo a birthday card. I felt kinda guilty because I promised Kat that we would buy a gift together, but I already bought the card before she and I agreed. (Kat, if you're reading this, I'm really sorry.)

Yet another day where I went home smiling. I hope the rest of this week turns out great, too. ♥

February 02, 2010

A Taste of Architecture

I spent a weekend night writing a design concept for Peter Angelo. It was so cool! No, it wasn't cool that I spent a weekend night doing schoolwork—for someone else, no less.

What was cool is that I actually learned a lot. Seriously!
No longer will I confuse elevation with floor plan, in case I ever decide to show off to Arki students again. I know the terms design considerations, design objectives, and evolution of shape.

More importantly, I got some new perspective. By having a taste of how difficult the Arki students' work is, I found fresh appreciation for architecture because I got a glimpse of how much thought goes into every single detail of the designs.

On a different note, it felt really great to be helping out a friend. (To be perfectly honest, the ego boost from the compliments felt awesome, too.) I loved the feeling that I was doing something for someone else. It made me feel unselfish—you know, the exact polar opposite of me. Seeing the word salamat made me feel all tingly and weird. I should do stuff for my friends more often.


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