May 07, 2010

UP: Unending Pressure

I'm sure that Peter Angelo will find the title to be witty, like Unending Plates. Bwahaha! K. :))

Earlier tonight, I asked my mom where I would study law after finishing AB Behavioral Science.
She replied, "UP, of course."
That means I have to take the UPLAE. *sigh* I'm sorry, I'm just not up for another rejection from UP!

Ever since I was a high school sophomore, my mom has always told me that I needed to pass the UPCAT. I never thought much of it until I was a high school senior and realized that the UPCAT was becoming less of an idea and more a huge, terrifyingly real, obstacle. 
The pressure was on, and it wasn't just from my mom. My then-boyfriend, who studies in UP, also kept telling me that passing the UPCAT was important to our relationship. Ironically, he constantly told me that I wouldn't pass.

It was early June that I took the UPCAT. My hands were shaking as I sat down and looked at the paper. And all I kept thinking was, "Oh, my god. [Insert name of ex here] was right, I will never pass this in a million years! This is too hard! Too hard! Too hard! TOO HARD!"
I did the best I could. Afterwards, when I left the room, I was on the verge of tears—tears of frustration, depression, disappointment. My mother could not understand why I was so crushed. Comfort came in the form of a friend, who told me, "Ikaw, di papasang UPCAT? Pssh. Ipasa mo yan tapos isampal mo sa mukha niya [referring to my ex]."

Several months later, when my mom was thinking about her plans for me now that I was about to enter college, quite unexpectedly, I broke down crying. Between hiccups, I told her that passing the UPCAT was a very slim possibility, that I was scared of letting her down. She then soothed me, saying that it didn't really matter whether I went to UP or UST.

Now that I'm happily, comfortably settled in UST, I find out that I have to go through all of this again with the UPLAE. Damn it!

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