Last Wednesday

These titles are very unimaginative.

Since Thursday was a national holiday, some Tumblr people decided to go out drinking. I wanted to see them under any circumstance, so I joined them in drinking at 1611, a small bar along P. Noval.

After a few bottles of strong beer (Red Horse and Colt 45—on an empty stomach, no less), I started to feel tipsy, losing track of time.

Here's the thing: I told my mom that I was only going to be hanging out at UST, and that I'd be home by 10PM. I missed my curfew by an hour and came home reeking of beer and cigarettes.

As predicted, my mom chewed me out. She said the usual stuff moms do when they preach: in particular, that my friends were bad influences, and that she was going to transfer me to OLOPSC if I didn't behave.

In truth, I accepted what she was trying to say. Even if I didn't like it, I understood why she was angry. I understood that she did not want her only child to have vices at the tender (?) age of seventeen.

In my defense, however, I have to say this: my friends are not bad influences. I chose to go with them, to drink with them. No one forced me, no one pressured me, no one even so much as told me to drink. It was all my own volition.

My mom and I have been having rocky times, so to make things easier for her, I'm going to be a good girl for the next month.

Goodbye PGMA, hello P-Noy.

Even though Noynoy Aquino has been proclaimed the winner of the elections, I refused to accept it. For me, June 30 was like a bad dream, coming ever nearer but not quite. Now it has become an unpleasant reality which I could neither escape nor change.

If you know me at all, then you know how very anti-Noynoy I am. All the brouhaha surrounding his inauguration—does he not have more pressing issues to deal with? Does he have to address every single, minute issue that the media throws at him? 

In my opinion, he grows more arrogant by the day. If his disrespectful treatment of General Delfin Bangit is indicative of how he plans to treat the Armed Forces of the Philippines, then I will win the bet I have with my classmate that there will be a coup d'etat during Noynoy's term of office.

I read in this blog that they, as Noynoy detractors, will be wearing black to symbolize that they have not been blinded by the "yellow magic" which seems to have mesmerized our country. So tomorrow, while I watch Noynoy's inauguration on TV, I will be in my rattiest black shirt, shaking my head in dismay.

P-Noy. Pffft. I will never call him that, except in jest. I will call him Noynoy, plain and simple.

Do not tell me to show respect for him. He is not my president. I did not vote for him.

If PGMA's detractors simply call her Gloria, then it is with equal disdain that I call Noynoy by his first name only.

Thomasian Debaters Council

Earlier tonight, I was chomping on bread and corned beef when I received a text message.

Hi TDC aspirants! Results of the tryouts will be posted at exactly 12 midnight later.

As you may not know, last Saturday, I tried out for the Thomasian Debaters Council. It's an organization recognized by the University of Santo Tomas which participates in debates (duh) both locally and internationally.

It may strike you odd that I didn't write about this before. See, I didn't tell people that I was trying out because I didn't want people to ask, "Oh, natanggap ka ba sa org?" If I didn't get in, I would then dejectedly shake my head and be reminded of the fact that I wasn't good enough (I don't handle rejection too well). 

Not wanting to subject myself to that psychological abuse, I kept this very quiet.

Back to tonight. 

So as to make it seem that I am not too eager to see the results, I tried waiting a few minutes before I opened the site. 

12:01.

12:05.

12:08...

At 12:13AM, I couldn't take it anymore. I opened the website to which they were going to post the results. It was listed alphabetically by last name, so I scrolled down to the middle of the list and started reading.

D... F... G...

Finally, I stopped on the only "K":

Disbelief held me in place for a few seconds before I scrolled back up to see if I read it right.

Yes, it was right: I was officially accepted into the TDC.

Before I knew it, this huge grin was on my face and I was dancing around in our living room. Like a boss.

Bipolar? Or just plain batshit insane?

Today was pretty good. In fact, it was a great day, compared to the last few weeks.

Because my mom commuted with me, I spent zero pesos on fare and rode a taxi to UST (like a boss). I spent the morning with my beloved friends Gab and Kat, with whom I had serious heart-to-heart talks while eating Sausage Mcmuffins and hash browns.

The day turned out swell: two of our professors were out so we got dismissed early, I chipped in P20 for a pizza but ate three slices (greedy bitch), and really just had fun with my barkada.

I should be happy tonight, but I'm not. 

Nighttime for me is the most beautiful time of the day. Gazing up at the stars and the moon relaxes and inspires me. It makes me feel closer to the ones I love, knowing that they're looking up at the same night sky. As beautiful as I find it, though, nighttime is also the time when I feel the worst. Every night, without fail, I sink into a dark mood, alternating between sadness and a rage so fierce that I want to throw stuff across the room. When I lie down on my bed, my heart twists uncomfortably with the knowledge that tomorrow, I'll have to do this all over again. My moods scare me.

Last Tuesday

It was, unexpectedly, pretty fun.

I was late to my very first PE class because Kirstie made all of us wait for her as she was almost an hour late. Normally, this would have made me mad as hell, but since I was with Peter Angelo and June, I didn't really mind.

I spent the morning with Leo, who went to UST to hang out. What we actually did was talk about our depressing lovelives, particularly his. It was funny, in a very sad, lonely kind of way. I shoved comfort food down his throat (ice cream and chocolates) in an effort to cheer him up, and it worked, somewhat. When I left him, he was smiling slightly, which made me feel good about myself because I like making my friends happy.

The classes, however, were a different story. They were so boring. Like, please-kill-me-now, falling-asleep-with-eyes-open boring.

Now, don't call me a geek, but I think I'm going to enjoy our English class this semester. The professor informed us that the course is all about writing, and that he was going to require us to submit several papers over the next few months. As you should very well know, I enjoy writing, to the point that I offer to write Peter Angelo's papers for him simply because of the pleasure that the written word gives me. So when our professor said that, I was smiling, contrary to some of my classmates' disgruntled reactions.

It was a good start of the week.

Obligatory "First Day of Classes" Blog

On June 5, there was a Tumblr meet-up in SM Mall of Asia. Hundreds of people came, including my Tumblr friends. As expected, my mom didn't allow me to go, so imagine how happy I was when I found out that there was another meet-up at UST on the first day of classes.


When I got to the meet-up in Plaza Mayor, I looked for Iyay and sat quietly beside her. You should know that I am very socially awkward, and talking to people is a challenge for me. As the hours passed by, I found myself opening up.

I'm no good at writing narrative texts, so yay for bullets!

• Played Frisbee for the first time with Sieg
• Met a lot of people, including Becs (who, despite her notoriety on Tumblr, is actually nice), Maxene, Leo, Iyay, Andy, Prex, Tey, and DJGelo.

I got home at around 9PM. That might seem early, but trust me, to my mom it's like midnight. She gave me such a telling-off, which fell on deaf ears because I had so much fun!

What a way to start the semester. :)

Boo.

"Wake up, boo."

"Boo?" I mumble sleepily. "What is that? You couldn't think of anything less cheesy to call me?"

"How could I? The only thing I think about is you," you reply in your husky, just-woke-up voice I always found to be sexy.

I pulled back the warm sheets wrapped around me and turned to face you. You were lying on my pillow with a faded print of blue flowers. Those black-brown eyes found mine as I smiled slightly, my lips dry and cracked with sleep. "But still... Boo? Seriously?"

With a huge yawn, you stretched your arms and I automatically slid into them, cuddling against your chest.

"Yes, seriously," you said, stifling yet another yawn as you kissed the top of my head. Your lips were soft against my earlobe, cheek, and nose. I closed my eyes as you lowered your head, and I awaited the kiss I knew was coming. Any second now—

With a start, I woke up. My heart was thudding as I looked wildly around the room.

The sheets were cold. The pillow next to me was empty. I was completely alone.

It was all a dream. Just a pointless fantasy.

And I buried my face in my pillow, and cried.

New Year's Resolutions: A Check-Up

Last January, I wrote down all the things I hope to accomplish in 2010. Now, it's June, and I wanted to see how well I've been holding up my New Year's resolutions.

I will get over my broken heart.

Easier said than done; I never was one to easily let go of people, let alone my longest, most serious relationship to date. I can still remember the night I realized that I had fallen out of love. 

It was a school night, a hot and sticky night. I was lying in bed when all of a sudden, my ex-boyfriend texted me. We got to talking, and halfway through our conversation I realized that I was bored. My heart wasn't pounding hard, I wasn't reminiscing of the good times we had—I was actually really, completely, totally bored with the conversation.

I had cried rivers of tears. My pillow had seen so many sleepless nights. The heartbreak felt like it would never end.

It was the most ecstatic feeling to know that I had overcome that.

I will study harder.

Aaaaah, every student's New Year's resolution! Unfortunately, one I could not keep.

In the last semester of my first year in college, I got the lowest grades I have ever received in my whole life.

The first thing I thought of was my family and their reactions. Despite being the black sheep from time to time, I love my family and hate to disappoint them. My poor academic performance will most certainly not be a cause for their celebration.

Breaking down in tears, I texted my best friend, asking him to call because I really needed to talk to someone. To add to my chagrin, my mom arrived while I was in the midst of my crying fit. She took one look at my tearstained face and tangled hair (on which I was pulling out of despair) and said, "Nakita mo na grades mo 'no?"

I will be a better friend.

I'd like to say I have accomplished this, but my friends might think otherwise, so... Can anyone testify to this? 

Lose weight.

Every single year, I say this. 

It's actually funny: this is a New Year's resolution, right? It's just ironic that I say this on a night when I can pig out on my grandmother's delicious cooking (baked mussels, homemade corned beef, corndogs, lasagna...)

Needless to say, I have failed dismally. I hate this resolution!

Oh, well. Two out of four is pretty good—at least for me.

I can't stop talking about shoes.

I woke up yesterday morning in a state of anticipation. For weeks, I have endlessly thought of whether or not I would buy these shoes. I pestered my family and friends, asking if the price was too high for a pair of sneakers.

Today is Zoo York day! I Tweeted, already anticipating the purchase.

When we got to Zoo York, I spotted the shoes immediately and asked the saleslady for a pair in size 6, all the while grinning and laughing. My enthusiasm did not go unnoticed by the saleslady, who looked at me with a confused expression.

Ay sorry ma'am, last size na po yang 5.

Oh, life is so cruel.

My mom and I wandered around in Trinoma for a while, hitting several shoe stores at her suggestion. When she saw how quiet and depressed I had become, she offered to buy me a pair of P2000 shoes. Needless to say, it cheered me up a great deal.

These are Marc Ecko sneakers:

And these are my new favorite sneakers: Von Dutch ones I bought with my own money, thank you very much.

I also bought a couple of shirts—black, of course, my favorite color.

My P30,000 just dwindled to less than half, in two months.

When I grow up, I can totally see myself burning cash, overusing my credit cards, drowning in debt, and eventually getting killed by loan sharks.

Give Me [Retail] Therapy

Today, I realized once again that I am a very materialistic girl.

Since last night, I've been depressed because my mom didn't allow me to go to the meet-up on Saturday. When I say depressed, I mean depressed—I was hardly speaking.

My mom and I were to watch Shrek: Forever After with my Ninang Olive and kinakapatid Ziara. On the taxi ride to Robinson's Metro East, I was silent as a rock. By the time we were buying books in Booksale, however, I was starting to smile.

Fine, I admit it. When I'm down, there is nothing better than shopping to cheer me up. I hate exiting the mall empty-handed. When I see something I want to buy, I loan money from friends, even if it takes me weeks to pay it off.

Anyway, the four of us had lunch at Savory then watched Shrek: Forever After. Having entered the cinema at bit late, we didn't get to watch the beginning, so we only saw Shrek making a deal with Rumpelstiltskin. Meh, my Tita Anne would buy a DVD of the movie anyway, so I'll just wait for that instead of waiting an hour in the cold theater for the film to start again.

I bought quite a lot of stuff, actually:

• A 1up mushroom stuffed toy from Clipper

• A bottle of Kamiseta's Powder cologne

• A secondhand book on puppies and how to raise them
• A shirt from Francis M. Clothing Co.
• Cheerleaders: The Second Evil by R.L. Stine

• 1984 by George Orwell

...which brings my P30,000 down to around P17,000. And tomorrow I'll be buying the gorgeous pair of Zoo York sneakers, which cost around P3,500.

I just needed these here again, because I am finally buying them. Yay for not impulse-buying! I want them even more now that I've waited to buy them.

My debut money is going down the drain, and it's not even my birthday yet!