How strange to have a paper love.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye!

2011-03-15T01:04:00.001+08:00

Goodbye, blogosphere. I had fun here, but it's time I stepped out into the real world.
To all my reads and everyone who has commented on or praised my writing, thanks. You guys are great, and I'm gonna miss talking with y'all.

This is it, I guess. Farewell.

OH HELL NO! I'm just moving to a new URL, Bubblegum Basics. To find out why, read this.
Lawlz blogosphere, did you really think you could ever get rid of me? My annoying whining is here to stay and use up the very last bit on bandwidth you have!

This is a shameless plug! Bubblegum Basics! Bubblegum Basics! Bubblegum Basics! Bubblegum Basics! Bubblegum Basics! Bubblegum Basics! Bubblegum Basics! Bubblegum Basics! Bubblegum Basics!

The reason I did not simply change this URL is because I didn't want to lose my readers, haha. So if you don't see updates here anymore, it's because I'm over at Bubblegum Basics!
Seriously, though, click. I'd hate to think you'd stop reading just because I moved to a new URL, lols.

STRESSED!

2011-03-14T00:37:00.000+08:00

Yes, I needed that in all caps and with an exclamation point!

Past couple of weeks have been killing me. I have been frantically keeping up with my schoolwork, ~~nursing a broken heart,~~ going out with friends... Those are my priorities as of the moment (in order, thankyouverymuch).

College is getting to me. I'm already a second year student but it's still surprising to find out how stressful the workload can get.
I sleep badly on weekdays now. In school, I feel like in a constant state of panic, thinking, "Pag-uwi ko, I should do this paper first, then another, then study pa for the quiz." Too much to do and too little time to do it, so I have to do it half-assedly. My nerves are so worn that I even snapped at Gab while I was photocopying a fuckton of book sources.

About my *~broken heart~*, well, I'll tell you about it in a few months, when I've moved on or had closure or when I'm really really drunk and logged on to Blogspot. It's not interesting, it's just really sad.

One more thing that has added to my stress is that I can't donate blood.
The UST Behavioral Science Society sent a group message asking for donors to help out a five-year-old leukemic named Bea. I texted Bea's mom and offered to donate. When I got to to UST Hospital Blood Bank, however, the doctor informed me that I couldn't donate blood until November 2011 because I got my tongue pierced last year.
That really sucked because I wanted so badly to help out Bea. I felt helpless and stupid; I was crying because I couldn't help out someone I didn't even know. I swear to god, I get too emotional sometimes.
If anyone wants to donate blood to help out a little girl in need, please contact me. I can set you up to donate. Please.

Which reminds me, everything makes me cry nowadays. I don't know, I guess it's the stress and everything that's piling up on me that makes me break down. Denyang made me cry, Paula made me cry, The Cranberries' Linger made me cry, Full House and Meteor Garden made me cry. It doesn't take much to set me off now—I'm a fucking faucet these days.

This Sunday, I was supposed to go to an epic Tumblr meet-up, White Day. But at 4:30AM the night before, with swollen eyes and an exhausted mind, I decided not to go. Sleep in. I badly craved time for myself. I wasn't feeling up to socializing.
Instead, I spent the day with my family in Marikina. They don't know how shitty I was feeling, but they made me feel loads better. My friends over there were great at making me feel good. It was a breath of fresh air, like everything slowed down, for a day, at least.

Back to the rat race, I'm still tired but trying. Only two weeks to go.

Youtube-isms

2011-03-11T00:32:00.000+08:00

In a very successful effort in procrastinating, I wandered Youtube looking for stuff to watch to keep my mind off the pile of schoolwork waiting for me: two eulogies, a final paper, a group paper... Thank god the Innernetz is home to a plethora of hilarious whackjobs doing hilariously whackjob things.

Showing love for Monra <3

A parody of the popular song Like a G6. recommended by Robi.

A paroday of Justin Bieber's Baby. I don't know why I found it so funny.

Don't give me rabies, rabies, rabies~

My personal favorite!

A tablespoon of sadness,
A dash of discontent,
Sprinkle on some memories you'll never forget.
Two cups of anger,
And a ounce of regret.
Mix it all together it's The Sensitive Chef.

Hahaha! I'm laughing so I can pretend that I don't have a shitload of work to do and that everything's dandy!

Best. Dream. EVER.

2011-03-07T22:21:00.000+08:00

This morning, I had the Best. Dream. Ever.

See these two beautiful men? I dreamed that we kissed. Yes, I kissed Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz. WOW.

We were in a small white room where everything looked flat and the light was bright. I was sitting on a white leather stool when Patrick walked in and sat beside me. At first, I just asked him questions like we were in an interview ("What's your favorite song? Food? Color?") then we were quiet and then he leaned in and we kissed OH MY GOD WE KISSED!!! We kissed for a really, really, really long time and he even kissed my neck, which really turned me on <3

Then he left "for a while" and then comes Pete, shirtless and sexy and he starts kissing me! And I'm feeling a little guilty because I just kissed Patrick a few minutes ago but I didn't care because it's Pete Wentz and I love him.

—Fin

It was all so vivid and realistic and WOW and oh my god why did I even have to wake up to this dull life?!
It's stupid to be all excited about a dream, but it's one of those dreams where I didn't wanna wake up, ever. FOB fangirl ~*4lyf*~

Baby, you're a firework!

2011-03-06T23:44:00.000+08:00

I don't like Katy Perry and I don't like this particular song of hers, but for some reason, I keep singing it in school, at home, when drunk...

Last Saturday, Gab, Paula, and I met at the SM Mall of Asia for the 2nd Philippine International Pyromusical Competition.

We were a little late, so we missed half of Japan's performance, which was too bad. I saw some of it, though. The heart-shaped and smiley-shaped fireworks were so Japan, and I mean that in a good way.

We are very lulzy in those makeshift handkerchief hats. It was raining so hard and we didn't have an umbrella okay!! That was no time to worry that we look really... not nice.

Since I was too in awe of the show to whip out my camphone, I have no pictures. :(

The pyromusical was amazing! The way that the vivid neon colors—magenta, green, purple—flashed against the black night sky was captivating, to say the least. By the time that the final golden sparks fizzled, I was slack-jawed in awe. Kinilabutan ako.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved fireworks. There's just something about their transitory beauty that enchants me. Sometimes, the most beautiful things in this world are the most ephemeral. All we can do it savor the moments while we can.

I will forever continue to be in love with fireworks.

Condoms are the new contraband over at Ayala Alabang

2011-02-27T23:57:00.001+08:00

"Contraband" is a bit of a stretch, seeing as it's not illegal, but it has a nice ring to it and the title sounds good so shut up okay.

Anyway, most of us have heard the news that Brgy. Ayala Alabang released an ordinance requiring pharmacies to ask for a prescription before dispensing contraceptives. Buying from other cities then selling them or giving them away within the barangay was also not allowed, according to Barangay Ayala Alabang spokesperson Atty. Luis Sison. Can you imagine small stalls selling condoms in the streets, a black market trade ala Quiapo within the distinguished community?

Photo taken here.

We human beings have natural sexual urges. I'm not saying that you should always give in to them and start sleeping with everything that moves, but when you do have sex, it's always better to do it safely and responsibly. No sense in taking chances.

What infuriates me is that this country is so indoctrinated in Catholic dogma that it refuses to see that condoms help prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted infections. It refuses to acknowledge that the best way to deal with human sexuality is to provide accurate information about practicing safe sex.

“It’s a multicultural barangay with residents from other countries, and these people have different religious and cultural beliefs, which I think should be respected,” said Ayala Alabang Village resident Kevin Punzalan.

We're always yelling about democracy and how big a role it plays in our country. Well, Ayala Alabang, don't you think it's pretty anti-democratic to require prescriptions for contraceptives? Don't your residents have the right to enjoy their sex lives privately, without having to whip out a piece of paper that says, One pack of Premiere Extra-Thin condoms?

This issue really pisses me off. Philippines, I love you, but you got to do better than that.

By the way, this is my opinion. Meaning, comment respectfully or GTFO before I shove dildos up your ass.

On the joys/pains of being fifteen

2011-02-24T23:25:00.001+08:00

Disclaimer: I'm assuming that my readers are all above fifteen. If you're not, then go offline before my dark and twisty cynicism seeps into your young minds and corrupts your innocence.

See T-Swizzle's lyrics here.

We all do remember how it's like to be fifteen, don't we? Young and bright and full of hope and thinking that having a boyfriend was the most important thing. Not to generalize, but at that age, the hardest questions are always something along the lines of, "Babalikan ko kaya siya?" or "Mahal niya din kaya ako?"

Sidebar. That's me, second to the left. I was fifteen or sixteen, and bright and shiny.
Also, if any of these guys are reading my blog, I miss you :*

I was fifteen when I had my first boyfriend.
He was from another school in Marikina and was a friend of my neighbor, who, incidentally I rejected. My neighbor was predictably pissed and he disapproved of the whole thing, which was crap because he's the one who set us up in the first place. However, we broke up quickly because a) the asshole stood me up on a date, and b) he slept with another girl.

Second boyfriend was quite a bit older than me and thus alarmed my family. I suffered their burning shame and outrage, and became the Kaimo black sheep (a label which, sadly, continues up to now). Broke up because the entire thing had blown up in our faces and we didn't want to stir the shit any more.

Third and most recent boyfriend was the only serious relationship I have had. He was any parent's wet dream: smart, responsible, well-off, from a decent family. I was fifteen and thought he was The One. I—nay, we—saw a white dress and picket fences and dreamed of settling down in Tagaytay. It was a rocky relationship that ended after less than two years, for reasons that I'm not gonna blab about because really, he's the only ex that I have a chance of being friends with again.

And I'm not even gonna talk about the numerous flings I have had.

Now, at eighteen, I'm a hardened cynic believing in nothing. There's no such thing as "forever". You can have as many monthsaries as you want, but it doesn't mean he won't cheat or fall out of love. Even a huge commitment like marriage doesn't mean that you're ensured of a happy relationship. I've been hurt enough times to realize that all the fairy tale promises we grew up with won't come true.
In the words of the great Chuck Palahniuk,

"Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit."

That said, I do miss the happy-bouncy-joyful feeling of being in love and actually believing in it. I hope the next Taylor Swift song of my life would be something along the lines of Crazier or Jump Then Fall.
And maybe the next time I'm in a relationship, I could actually be functional again.

If you're fifteen and reading this, I want you to know that any relationship you have right now is probably not gonna last. You won't wanna hear that, but it's true. And it's okay. It's life. There are bigger things out there for you. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is not the best thing that can happen, and getting your heart broken is not the worst thing.

Or maybe you should stop listening to a washed-up, dried-up pessimist and live your life the way you want to.

Imba

2011-02-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

The YC Buddies are big fans of Artistang Artlets, the official theater guild of the UST Faculty of Arts and Letters. We make it a point to always watch their plays, even when we're not required by our professors.

Imba, written by Jem Ferrer, directed by Jihad Mambuay, and (ohnoes, how do you translate "sa pamamahala ni"??) Karla Angela Tajon, was shown at the Rizal Conference Hall in our building.
It was sort of a Valentine's play, since the theme was love (of course). To be completely honest, even though the past AA plays I watched have been great, I wasn't expecting much from this other than the usual clichés you see in movies. I mean, seriously. It was Valentine's Day! I thought AA would show a frilly, fluffy love story about unrequited love and all that overused Hollywood rom-com bullcrap. Thank god I was wrong.

The story starts with a girl in a park selling balloons on Valentine's Day. She's the common factor, the one who saw everything, in the various stories that happen in the park:

A guy who caught his girlfriend cheating on him. He gets drunk, stumbles in the park, and at the end, it's implied that he ended up with the balloon vendor.
A guy and a girl were coworkers who say that they didn't want a relationship but it's clear that they'll get together. Ridiculously cliché but it was a good scene nonetheless.
Two guys named Alex and Chuck, who were in a relationship seven years ago, meet again and discuss their past. It's revealed that Chuck now has a daughter, who he named Alex.
A couple of jejemon street sweepers (who call each other "bhe," lolololol) in a typical lover's spat. It's actually quite sweet and gave me the kiligz~ The girl eventually revealed that she is pregnant.

Watching this made me cry. The lines were tagos-sa-puso and "tuhmuh!"-inducing from anyone who has ever been in love.

From now on, I'm taking a poster of every AA play I watch. My first one was this, Imba.

(I asked permission from the AA members, so don't get your panties in a twist.)

Valentine's Day 2011

2011-02-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

Digression: This Valentine's, I didn't really think I want a boyfriend. The thing that was actually running through my mind was I want someone to give me flowers. I want sunflowers! because flowers > a love life.

For me and the YC Buddies (who are all single, by the way—free bitches, baby!), Monday was just another reason to camwhore.

I got three roses: one from our sweet guy blockmates who bought flowers for all the girls in 2BES1, one from Gab, and one from Bojie.

Of course, what special occasion involving the YC Buddies would be complete without eating at Yellow Cab?

Then we went to Fort Santiago.
Let me just say, old Manila is really beautiful! I want to live there with my future children and we they can hear mass at Manila Cathedral and we would live in a charmingly old-fashioned house and enjoy walking along the streets of Manille~

Anyway, Fort Santiago is such a nice place, seemingly removed from the rat race of the city. It's a great date spot *ehem*.

We went inside the Rizal Shrine, where we saw Jose Rizal (duh) paraphernalia, including clothes, first editions of his books, and a piece of his bone. Seriously. We also saw his cell, where he was imprisoned before his execution.

Also, we had this conversation when we saw a sweet old couple.

Aya: Gusto ko din ng ganyang asawa!
Me: Ano, yung matanda? Hehehehehe.

More pics!

"Lagi naman akong nag-iisa eh." So much dramz~

In closing (lolwut), Valentine's Day ain't just for couples. I feel sorry for you if you didn't feel loved last Monday, because I sure did.

Happy Overrated Day!

2011-02-12T17:23:00.004+08:00

Dear C*nt,
I know you don't want all the overrated, candles-on-cake crap, but I just got to let you (and the whole blogosphere, apparently) know how awesome my best friend is.

Three things about this photo:

We've been friends for years, and you're one of my closest friends, but we only have 17 photos together. I guess that's what happens when two people are both not photogenic.
Lol at Kirstie's face.
If you click the words "see friendship," the accurate thing to be displayed would be our midnight YM conversations full of music, movies, jokes, and *~emotions~*

I find it awesome that when we talk (usually online), we can go on for hours and hours until the wee hours of the morning. *~Late-Nighter~* Seriously, how many nights have we spent exchanging Youtube links of funny shit and songs we think the other will like?

Jesus, this still makes me laugh. Very thin ice~ He has a chart! A dragon chart! Those geese are cooked. Inside jokes 4evz.

Other things about you that I find awesome:

you look good in pretty much everything (don't get all cocky with me, though)
you know the stuff I love
you're the only person who can cheer me up even when I'm feeling like complete, total crap
you are my number one fan, lol (no one else compliments me on my writing as much as you do)

Probably the only decent picture we have together.

Your awesomeness is so immense that when you die, I'd lay a Sausage Mcmuffin with Egg on your grave and not feel bad about not eating it.

I want to thank you for never breaking my trust, for giving me yours, for putting up with all my crazy, for patiently enduring my clingy, needy moods and for reassuring me (albeit without eloquence) when I feel like shit. There are no words to describe how much all that means to me.

The world is a cesspool teeming with phonies and festering buttcracks who make me hate humankind. You, who are thankfully not one of them, restore my faith in friendship and the possibilities it opens up. Thank you for letting me know that sometimes, letting people in is worth it.

If I had to dedicate one song to you, this would be it.

And even if you are a cunt who pokes fun at my Aimee Bender fangirl-isms and who still doesn't love The Cure as much as I do, I promise to always listen to you, fully, without judgment, and without the annoying human habit of pretending to listen but only waiting until you finish so I can talk next.
Ending this letter now because I'm starting to get all mushy and I do enough of that when I text you.

Honestly not knowing what I would do without you,
The Sap

P.S. AIMEE BENDER!!!

The Collective Fail

2011-02-10T12:51:00.000+08:00

It was on Dani's blog that I discovered The Collective, a Cubao Expo-y place where art, fashion, music, and other interests are catered to by several unique stores. What particularly piqued my interest was Vinyl on Vinyl, where you can buy vinyl records, artwork like sketches and paintings, and toys like Kidrobot. They also sell one-of-a-kind clothing and accessories—at least that's what the blogosphere tells me.

Peter Angelo and I are geeks. Huge geeks. When we get together, we draw out each other's geekiness to its full potential. So when I told him about Vinyl on Vinyl, we were excited to go to The Collective.

It was last Monday, with nothing but vague directions I found on the Internet, that Peter Angelo and I went to The Collective. We got lost from the very start, when we didn't know where to get off. Then we got on the wrong jeep and asked directions from a police officer.

Me: Saan po makakasakay papuntang Makati?
Pulis: Doon [points]. Sakay kayong pa-PRC.
Me: Ah. Saan po bababa?
Pulis: Sa PRC nga.
Me: Ah. Eh saan kami makakasakay?
Pulis: Doon nga. [points again]
Me: Ah. Eh saan po kami bababa?
Pulis, exasperated: Sa PRC nga!
Peter to the cop, talking about me: Pasensya na po kayo, di pa yan nakakainom ng gamot ngayon eh.

After that, we didn't know exactly where Malugay St. was, so we asked directions from several people and still got lost. We ended up taking a taxi to Malugay, where The Collective was located.

We were beaming in anticipation of Vinyl on Vinyl, and ignored the ominous "Closed" signs on most stores. Finally, when we reached VoV, smiling and sweaty from the commute, we found out that It. Was. Fucking Closed.

What the fuckety fuck huhuhuhu nakakahiya kay Peter okay I practically dragged him there and now it's closed oh my god the shame the horror the disappointment my life sucks forever huhuhuhudsjkfhdsjkahfksajdhfjksdhf

When we I got over my long, stunned silence of disappointment, we found out that it doesn't usually open on Monday. Thank god Peter brought his copy of 12, which cheered me up a great deal.

We then took a taxi to SM North Edsa, where we decided to geek out in Fully Booked there to soothe our sadness over The Collective Fail.

My Monday in a photo:

Fall Out Boy bag I bought last year on eBay for around Php900. I had a funny conversation about this with Kat.

Kat: Ganda ng bag mo!
Me: Thanks! Fangirl ako, hehe.
Kat: Diba break na sila?
Me: ......tangina pinaalala mo pa!

Super Mario keychain from Clipper, Php67. Thanks to Peter Angelo. Ililibre kita next time. :)
Sketchpad full of my doodles which I shall give as a Christmas-slash-birthday gift to him.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I dunno what good spirit possessed him to lend me this book.
The Bell Jar. Bought it for less than Php540.

Basically, my Monday was: UST, Buendia, South Super Highway, Malugay, SM North Edsa, TriNoma, Gateway. Whew!
I had a great time, though. When we next step foot on The Collective, we shall conquer Vinyl on Vinyl!

Meiday! Meiday!

2011-02-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

Saturday was Meiday's third anniversary but it was only my first time to go. For those of you who don't know, Meiday is an event where local bands get together to perform. It's organized by Mei Bastes, who takes care of everything that the event involves. Did I mention that it's free?

Several bands were there, including Sugarfree (who disbanded but agreed to perform at Meiday), Pedicab, Halik ni Gringo, and Itchyworms. Unfortunately, I didn't see them all, because I had a curfew of 12AM. Cinder-Ela, lol.

[Pretend there are pics here. I was too lazy to take pictures.]

Oh, wait, I do have one picture. Wait for it...

That is me with Manix Abrera! He draws Kikomachine Komix! His comics are hilarious! I especially like 12! He made my Meiday! The Best Friend was jealous of this picture!

"Rakenrol!"

The Versatile Blogger

2011-02-04T21:31:00.000+08:00

I love blogging because it's the best way for me to express myself. What makes it even better is finding people who like reading what I have to say, so when Dani gave me this award, I was crying tears of joy (well, not really, but I was deeply flattered and surprised to the point that I actually refreshed the screen twice to see if my eyes weren't just playing tricks on me).

To accept the Versatile Blogger Award there are some rules to follow:

1. Thank and link back to who gave you the award.
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Pass it along to seven blogs you've recently discovered and enjoy.
4. Leave your recipients a note, telling them about the award.

A big thanks to Dani once again for calling this blog "witty", which I think is a very flattering description when sometimes I think it's more along the lines of "total waste of bandwidth".

Seven things about myself:

I'm a picky eater but I'm still ~~fat~~ chubby, because most of the food I like is junk food.
Speaking of food, I love bacon so much that I eat its crumbs from the frying pan.
I ~~like~~ love alcohol. Sometimes, I suddenly smell beer in the air, even when we're miles away from a bar.
Most of my money goes to buying books. I love Aimee Bender! She's my favorite author!
I am in love with Pete Wentz. The stuff he writes are absolutely, totally, completely amazing. I plan to blog about Fall Out Boy soon.
I cried when Fall Out Boy broke up. Seriously. I had to turn off the computer and cry in the bathroom because I was so sad. I didn't tell anyone because I felt like such a freak lol.
Last year was such an emotional roller coaster (pardon the cliche) that all I want for 2011 is shut off all negative feelings and have fun.

Seven blogs:

Robbie. He's my favorite blogger: talented, funny, and full of great stories.
Yhel. I can totally relate to what she writes.
Citybuoy. His literary work is wonderful.
Fickle Cattle. I envy his honesty in writing about himself and other people.
Leyn. Aside from giving helpful fashion advice, she's also funny.
Jessica. A perfect mix of wit and emotion.
Dani. Lol okay so maybe it's not "right" or whatever to include the person who recommended me, but come on! I love her blog, okay? Thanks to her, I discover lots of new places to go to and stuff to do.

Okay. Leaving now before I get too caught up in the compliments that I just know are about to flood me. ;)

UST Main Building camwhorage

2011-02-02T22:07:00.000+08:00

Part of my 2011 to-do list is going to the top of UST's Main building. I know, I know, what's so special about it that I'd actually blog about it? No reason, actually. It's just that I have wanted to go there for a year because I didn't want to leave UST without having explored every nook and cranny.

Wow, I blathered on a lot. Anyway, I was with Denisse and Gab when I went there yesterday. I tell ya, every time I enter the Main Building, I always feel a twinge of regret about not taking up BS Psychology (even though I know for a fact that I suck at science).

Favorite shot of the bunch. *~legs~*

Also, it would be cool to have a boyfriend from the College of Science/Faculty of Pharmacy so we can make out on the rooftop of the Main Building.

Totally joking.
Or not.

Celebrating 400 years of unending grace

2011-01-30T22:02:00.000+08:00

AKA an excuse for a photo spam of my friends and I having fun last Wednesday.

Was at UST by 6AM for the parade, which was lots of fun! We went through Morayta, Mendiola, and Legarda, meaning we passed FEU, UE (which had a banner congratulating UST on its 400th year, how sweet), CEU, San Beda, and San Sebastian. Of course, every time we passed another college, the noise level went up by several decibels. We're such a bunch of show-offs, lol.

Before the parade, looking fresh in the morning air.

2BES1 with the crush-ng-bayan professor, Sir Mabahague.

After the parade. Look at dem haggard faces.
(I nearly cried when Ava told me that the Mcmuffins weren't ready yet.)

The YC Buddies turned Room 109 into our own org room. Heh. *~So fly like a G6~*

Afterwards, ~~Denyang~~ Denisse, Kat, Gab, and I hung out at the Botanical Garden after buying a shitload of food. Since I got up at 3AM and slept at 2AM (thanks to besfran), I was so sleepy and so tired that I fell asleep at the table right after eating.

When we woke up (yes, we all slept there), we camwhore-d and shot videos of us being silly. One of them was a *~drama~* wherein I played the girlfriend.

Denisse, me, Kat.

Facebook DP.

Gab, me, Denisse. Why am I always in the middle in pictures? Do you guys want me to die?

That day was so much fun!

Ako'y nagagalak matawag na isang Tomasino!

2011-01-29T23:35:00.001+08:00

Last Thursday, thousands of Thomasians celebrated the 400th anniversary of our most beloved university.

During the countdown to midnight, there was a program on which various celebrities appeared: some sang, some danced, some told stories about their time in UST. Most of them were UST alumni, like Albert Martinez (who was so hot, BTW), Mr. Fu, RJ Jimenez, Sarah Geronimo, and Jamie Rivera. Some, like Gary Valenciano, weren't, but they still got into the whole university's celebratory mood which they admitted was infectious.

Even though Itchyworms wasn't the finale, it still felt like they were, because they energized the crowd and got us all jumping up and down to Akin Ka Na Lang, Beer, and Loveteam, among other songs.

Feel na feel ang pagkanta ng Loveteam: "Sabi mo na mahal mo 'ko, ngunit di naman seryoso!"

In my opinion, the best speech came from John "Sweet" Lapuz. He adlibbed a lot, unlike other speakers who read from a script, and he spoke so passionately about his experience in UST that we truly felt how emotional he was, and how proud he was of being a Thomasian.

Here's a video of the fireworks display, though it does not do justice to the actual thing.

It was so incredibly beautiful. I was in literal slack-jawed awe the entire time.

Shitfaced after the program.

YC Buddies! Sayang, wala si Ressa.

I said it so many times before, but I'll say it again: I'm proud to be a Thomasian!

Books, AKA the blog post I wrote while waiting for The Best Friend to go online (damn it, what is taking you so long?!)

2011-01-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

For the second time this week, I didn't go to class. Instead, I slept in and decided to accompany my mom and ninang to Shangri-la.

Since it was Shang, I expected the price tags to be steeper than what I was used to. Still, the feeling of walking empty-handed out of several boutiques was very disquieting. It wasn't something I'm used to, especially after seeing lots of stuff I would have bought if they had been cheaper... or if I was rich.
(There was a dress in Topshop that had 50% off the price, but still cost around P2500. SALE NGA!)

To add to me disappointment, we didn't eat at California Pizza Kitchen, which I was dying to try out. Combine that with the fact that my bajingo's doing the monthlies (read: I am menstruating), and I was a very unhappy girl this afternoon.

What cheered me up was seeing a Fully Booked on our way home. I entered and immediately, my mood soared. Even though they didn't have Aimee Bender's The Girl in the Flammable Skirt (the only book of hers that I don't have yet), they did have Chuck Palahniuk's Invisible Monsters, which I bought. Yay!

After some thought, I also got a Fully Booked discount card.

You can get one by: a) spending ten thousand pesos' worth of products in one purchase; b) accumulating fifteen thousand pesos' worth of receipts in one year; or c) paying P700. I took the last option, which entitles me to 10% off on cash payments and 5% off on credit card payments. Since I buy books a lot, this is worth it.

Lots of books to read.

Pacific Rims by Rafe Bartholomew is a book about basketball in the Philippines. It's not nearly as dull as you think it is: it's actually laugh-out-loud hilarious and informative, with just the right mix of emotion, experience, and hard facts. I'm not a basketball fan, but this book had me hooked from the introduction. No bullshit.

The Best Friend's Christmas gift! (Is it still a gift if I had to wheedle him into getting it for me?)
Funny story: we bought this for P600. A few weeks later, I found the same book but with a different cover, for only P300.
"Sana di mo na lang sinabi!" he said, miming hitting my head with a book. Lulz.

Andy recommended this book to me. It's about a guy who pretends to choke in restaurants and... just Google the plot.

The words that caught my eye were Aimee Bender. Seriously, I'm such a fangirl for her! I didn't buy this just because it had her name on it, though. It's because this book seems really good, like it gives a refreshing twist to old fairy tales.

P.S. This has nothing to do with books, but today, we bought a scratching post for our cats! It cost P1500, which is a hell of a lot to spend on a couple of stray cats, but Mom and I love to spoil our pets, so...

Trying to read palms and peer into crystal balls just makes the future even scarier

2011-01-21T23:44:00.000+08:00

My mom and I sat down to breakfast the other day and I asked, "Ano magiging reaction mo pag hindi ako nag-law?"

My mom was thoughtful in her answer: "Okay lang. Ayoko namang isipin mong napipilitan ka. Nakikita ko namang magaling ka magsulat, baka mas magiging masaya ka kung yun yung papasukin mong field. Saka alam ko ang hirap ng law students kaya hindi kita pinipilit."

Even though it's my choice to take up law after earning a degree in Behavioral Science, the idea still scares me. What if I couldn't handle the pressure? What if the professors are the rotten, misanthropic ones that assign fifty case studies per day just to see students have a nervous breakdown? What if I fail the bar exams? What if, what if, what if?

It's not just my law school future that scares me. Every time I go to school, I realize that I'm halfway through getting a degree but I still feel like a fucking kid. No matter how hard I try to be grown up, I'm just not cut out yet for any real responsibility.

It's just that I never really thought of life as this fast-paced. Everything's speeding up: I'm halfway through my college education, but I'm feeling like I've accomplished absolutely nothing but ingest an insane amount of alcohol. Soon, I'll be applying to companies for my OJT (which, by the way, scares the bejesus out of me), writing my thesis, and receiving my diploma.

Thinking about the future terrifies me and makes me face, albeit reluctantly, the realities of life as I know it.

I never imagined that such a simple question would throw me almost completely. My god, I was only making conversation!

Epic week

2011-01-15T00:25:00.001+08:00

[insert whining about my inability to come up with catchy titles]

This week has been pretty sweet.

Monday, I scoured SM San Lazaro for a dress to wear on Robi's birthday party. I saw a couple of gorgeous ones in Tomato for only P750 each, but Mom wouldn't let me use my credit card.

Tuesday, had dinner with Andy at a carenderia (lol IDK if the spelling is correct. Carinderia? Karenderia?) in Morayta. We saw his uncle there.

Wednesday, met with him again to eat the food he cooked in class: pizza, mashed potatoes, and sausage. Then we went to his place to watch Inception. I haven't watched that movie yet, so I was seriously mindfucked at the end. Seriously. I was sitting there with my mouth agape, utterly speechless with the intensity of awesomeness that the movie had. SERIOUSLY.

Oh, and I met his parents and his brother and Pusa, their cat. I love Pusa. He was sweet and cuddly and he slept in my lap for nearly the entire movie.
INCEPTION!!! Okay, I'll stop now.

Thursday, I, along with half the class, had to perform a three-minute on-the-spot speech for English class. The question I randomly picked out of a box was, What was the biggest surprise of your life? Damn, I thought I wouldn't be able to answer the question well, but all modesty aside, I think I did a pretty good job. A lot of my blockmates complimented me, and I kept saying Thank you because it's a really amazing feeling to be praised. :">
(As for my answer to the question, I basically said that I was surprised that my family and friends stuck with me even though I'm a huge fucking asshole, and that I was also surprised that I'm happy despite my tendency to be dark and twisty.)

Friday, we took a very long Theology quiz that I'm sure will be nearly identical to the prelims on Monday. Shit was hard as hell, and we walked out of the room scratching our heads.
Also tried Pasta Boy's Pirate's Twist (carbonara+seafood), which was a huge disappointment for me. FYI, Pasta Boy, cheap chopped-up squidballs in my pasta is not equal to seafood!

Wow, recounting everything makes my life sound dull. But it was fun! Really! Seriously! This week has been great and I have been happy and I have stayed away from the Internetz for two days!

Ending this post with my current LSS. I listen to this every day as I walk to my classroom. Makes me feel like a bawzz, eh.

I am in love with Jorma. <3

Yearbook

2011-01-09T01:26:00.000+08:00

While organizing my bookshelf the other day, I found myself reading the yearbook back from when I was in the sixth grade. To be honest, it was really blah: everything was in greyscale, with *~inspirational quotes~* underneath the photos of awkward preteens.

I'd like to think that I outgrew that awkward phase, but...

Flipping through the pages, a little voice in my head did a voice-over every time I recognized a face:

He was so annoying back then, but now, he's a catch! Cute, smart, and fun. I wish I could have dated him. Heh.
God, even back then, she was so full of herself!
I wonder what happened to this guy? Last I heard, he was off doing drugs every other day and screwing anything that moves. [exaggerated greatly]
Wow, this girl looked so plain back then, but now she is drop-dead gorgeous!

All of it felt like from another life. I spent eight years in that school, with almost the same people in it. Nice people, boring people, annoying people, awesome people, and douchebags. It's a mark of how often I forget to look at the bright side that I can remember the douchebags better than the nice people.

My friends would probably ask why if I told them I didn't like elementary and high school. I hated it, actually, but I've no concrete reason why.
I wasn't picked on, so I don't have any cliche troubled teenhood stories, nor did I have bad grades. I was entered in Speechfests and citywide journalism competitions and essay-writing contests and actually won a few. I had fun friends and a boyfriend from another school. In other words, while I didn't have the Cher Horowitz experience of high school royalty, I sort of had it made.
It was probably all of that, however, that made me hate it. It was too made. It stifled me.

Looking at all the faces with gap-toothed smiles and hair in kiddie braids, I got to thinking, how many of these people did I keep as friends? How many did I hurt? Help? Know, love?

In college, I hope not to make the same mistakes I did back then. Maybe I'd close my 2013 yearbook with a smile of contentment instead of scorn.

Also, yay for writing a moderately meaningful blog post for the first time this year! Let's look forward to a 2011 filled with hope and love and sunshine rainbow glitters unicorns!
(Yes, I am currently filled with optimism.)

Last of 2010

2010-12-31T00:46:00.000+08:00

The gorgeous fireworks I missed at this year's Paskuhan!
[Photo source.]

Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

2010 has been terrific. Most of it has been fun, thanks to the incredible people in my life.

This year, I have met new, fantastic friends (I'm looking at you, Tumblr folks) and become closer with old ones.

This year, I have learned to drink not only vodka, but beer, cocktails, gin, wine, and hard liquor. I have been to several bars, learned drinking games (27 and Bobo Shot, heh), and learned to walk straight even with a fuckton of alcohol in my system. I am somewhat proud to say that I can now outdrink the very people (my neighbors from Marikina) who taught me to drink. Um, yay??

This year, my mom lost her trust in me, yelled at me for hours for coming home at 2 in the morning, yelled at me for coming home drunk and smelling of cigarette smoke, told me off for getting a tongue piercing, and cried so many times because I was being such a bad daughter. Looking back, this was my one big regret.

Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

A new year isn't really a big deal, but people need, want, crave fresh starts. A chance to get things right or make them better. Most people like to think that with every new year comes a clean slate, and although I disagree, I'm not gonna disabuse them of the notion.

Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

I have no New Year's resolutions. I didn't keep the ones I made at the start of 2010, and I know for a fact that simply writing down "drink less" or "study harder" isn't going to help my 2011.

Here we are, less than 24 hours from the beginning of a new year.

Counting down the hours, I wonder, have I changed? Have I grown as a person? At the start of this year, I thought I knew everything. I thought I was always in control, that I wouldn't have any regrets this time around.
2010 was a big year for me. It forced me to challenge my beliefs, my perception of myself and the people around me, my priorities.

I am ready for another year of emotional roller coasters, 12 weeks of menstrual rage, 10 months of seizure-inducing schoolwork, two hot months of summer love (lol), and 365 days trying to make the most out of life.
2011, BRING IT ON!

Things I am into right now

2010-12-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

This is not a may-mapost-lang post. I'm just trying to get you guys into the stuff I like so I can have someone to talk to about them.

Books
Currently, I'm reading Stories, a collection of fiction by talented writers such as Chuck Palahniuk, Neil Gaiman, and Jodi Picoult. It's been really great so far—the kind of book that's so good you don't really wanna finish it, which is why I'm procrastinating on reading it. My only complaint is that Aimee Bender wasn't in there, which is crap because she is an amazing writer. Seriously, amazing. (Here is Peter Angelo's cue to yell, "Geek alert!")
I'm also skimming through Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. "Skimming" because I couldn't wait to read the book, but was too lazy to focus completely.

Music
Since few people share my taste in music, I don't know what the point is in writing about the songs I like. But if you want, listen to Weezer, The Cab, The Academy Is..., Beulah, and The Zutons.(I linked to songs I particularly like)
Charlotte Sometimes' Waves and the Both of Us is rapidly becoming a favorite song. It's about sex, as the lyrics explicitly demonstrate, but it's so utterly sweet and lovely that it doesn't sound dirty at all, even when she says, "You take off your shirt and pull up my skirt."

The Innernetz
Spending my Christmas break online is unproductive and can get really boring, but what choice do I have when my mom doesn't like me going out?
I had to find new ways to entertain myself. Luckily, I stumbled upon this webcomic on Cracked.

This made me laugh for minutes. 2ND & 3RD PANELS WIN.

P.S. This post is inspired by Will's blog entry.
P.P.S. I don't know why I feel the need to state where I get inspiration for my blogs.

Christmas 2010

2010-12-28T00:14:00.000+08:00

Imaginative title, yes?

So I already told y'all about how Christmas in our house goes down. This year wasn't particularly different, so I'm just going to dump a shitload of pictures. Why? BECAUSE I CAN.

I've been handing out the presents since I was a kid. I have yet to pass the torch.

Kaimo women~ We be so purty

My beloved grandparents. They look so happy; GMH. I love them so much.

That's my mom attempting to photobomb.

Magic Sing, as usual.

Look at the huge-ass pile of presents I handed out. I was like, "From... To..." over and over.

I got a ton of really good presents this year. Not just from my family, but from my friends, too. Since I was too lazy to take pics, bullets!

A small pouch from Aya
Hot Water Music by Charles Bukowski from Andy. I am still shy about receiving this gift but whatever it's Bukowski so thanks bb :*
A kiddie Hello Kitty watch and a bottle of Moschino I Love Love perfume from Mama. I LOVE YOU MOM!
Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk from Mommy and Tita Anne
Two cute shirts from Tita Ninang and Nanay Leth
A really nice pair of sunglasses from Kuya Sean. My new favorite pair of shades!
Cash from my grandparents
A wristlet and make-up from Tita Malou
A sleeveless purple top from Tito Don
A cute little wallet from Tito Junie

Am still waiting for The Best Friend to give me the only Aimee Bender book I don't have. *ehem*Peter Angelo*ehem! Cunt.

Senseless happy rambling aside, 2011 is approaching and I have yet to write an obligatory "New Year's resolutions-slash-all about my 2010-slash-things I am thankful for this year" post.

How fat am I? God!

2010-12-25T21:07:00.000+08:00

Excuse the emotionally charged title. But you can get an idea on how full of rage I am in this blog post.

So I spent Christmas in Marikina, in the house on the street where I grew up. Of course, I know a lot of people there, and the first thing they always said when they saw me was... wait for it... Ang taba mo na!

Okay, so the resolution is sucky and my eyes make me look like I'm possessed,
but am I really that fat as to solicit fat jokes throughout the entire night?

No, it didn't bother me. I know I gained weight and I'm okay with good-natured teasing, but the thing that pissed me off was my neighbor's unbelievable comment, to wit: Ang taba mo na! Tama na yan ah, wag ka nang magpapakataba! Papangit ka na niyan! Over and over and over and over.
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

Not to be a total narcissist or anything, but I find myself beautiful. Not in the conventional pretty kind of way, but in the way that I look at myself in the mirror and I don't focus on my flaws. Sure, I have thoughts that are along the lines of, I'm so fat huhu WTF, but they're not that hard to let go of.

My point is, I feel good about myself (even with a mom who finds something to criticize about me every day). I'm disappointed in the people around me for making me feel bad about myself, but worse, I'm disappointed in myself for allowing them to make me feel that way.

My high self-esteem has its limits. Jesus. I am going on a diet and will exercise like hell, and when I get all sexy like Anne Curtis (LOLOLOLOL), I am going to walk around naked all the fucking time. Fuckers.

Hipster ▲

2010-12-23T10:43:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, my mom and I had a discussion that went something like this:

Mom: Bakit ba ang sumisikat dito eh sila Lady Gaga at Katy Perry?

Me: Oo nga eh. Di ko sila gusto. Di ako mahilig sa mainstream, sa sikat.

Mom: Baka naman nagpapaka-effort ka lang maiba.

Me, in my head: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

I can't even.

It sucks that I feel like I have to justify myself, but here I am, doing so anyway.

I listen to indie bands because I think underground music is better than the shit popular artists come up with these days, not because I want to be different. I'll have you all know that I listen to Justin Bieber and I actually have Charice's Pyramid on my phone.
Seriously, I really fucking hate the way some people think I listen to indie bands para lang maiba. Do you prefer that I start listening to Paramore, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers?

Starry photo with Helvetica! So goddamn *~hipster~*
Photo taken from Sarcastic Indie Fucks.

What sucks even worse is that the hipster culture has been reduced to being a way to be *~unique~*, instead of staying true to what you like even if it's not the "in" thing. Wasn't the whole point of being hipster to be too "cool" to be labeled? Now everyone who buys clothes from ukay-ukays, listens to music no one else has heard of, and drinks at Mogwai (lol no not really) is branded as a hipster.

I want Paula's hipster glasses! Pero di daw bagay sa akin.

Cracked has an article that describes almost exactly how I feel about this whole thing. Read it, please, and think twice before you label someone as hipster or nonconformist or whatever shit you're calling anyone different is these days. Jesus. I hate people and their incessant need to label.

Also, listen to this awesome Say Anything song that sneers at the hipster culture.

Obligatory Christmas post

2010-12-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

Let me start off by saying how much I love Christmas. Not loved, not like, but love. Christmas is my favorite holiday, and as cheeseball as this is going to sound, it is the most wonderful time of the year.

NO THAT IS NOT ME RIGHT NOW. That was me in my awkward phase.
Also, that is my younger-by-three-years cousin, Dylan.

Just to get the negative energy out of the way, I am going to voice out my opinion on the whole Samahan ng Malalamig ang Pasko brouhaha. I love that Nestea commercial (the guy was really cute), but since then, everyone has been all, "SMP ako kasi single ako, boo-hoo." Jesus, you people are so fucking stupid. It's Christmas Day, for god's sake, not Valentine's Day! This is a celebration of cheer and generosity, not another reason to bemoan not having a boyfriend. You have 364 days in a year to whine about that, but do not ruin Christmas or else BITCH I WILL CUT YOU.

Ahem. Calming down...

So, back to the good vibes! Since my title has obligatory in it, I am writing down an obligatory wishlist.

Books. Recently, I have rekindled my love affair with books. This year, I have spent more than six thousand pesos on them. I used to frequent Powerbooks TriNoma, but ever since Andy took me to Fully Booked in SM North Edsa (where he bought me Charles Bukowski's Hot Water Music as a Christmas gift, thankyou thankyou thankyou), I have found a new place in which to indulge my booklust!
Shorts. And not those knee-length ones, mind you; I like really short shorts.
Samsung Wave or Galaxy. Obligatory far-fetched item on wishlist.
A vacation to Boracay or Palawan. Or anywhere that is not in Marikina or San Mateo.
A new pair of oversized black sunglasses. I saw one I liked in a department store for only P270.
Chocolates.
A very hot, very naked Daniel Radcliffe to jump out of a huge shiny ribboned box and perform a sexy dance for me.

Aaaaah.

Christmas, like I said, is the season of cheer and generosity. I also believe that it is the season of togetherness, a time for people to put aside their differences even for just one night. Coming from a cynic like myself, this belief is important to me.
Above all, Christmas is a time for family. The holidays at the Kaimo household can be stressful, chaotic, and expensive—imagine having to feed, and give gifts to, a brood of thirteen!—but it is also incredible. The food is always scrumptious, thanks to my Lola's excellent cooking; her Christmas specialty of homemade corned beef, in particular, is the most delicious thing to ever have entered my mouth, including past lovers' tongues. Not to mention the huge pile of gifts you get at the end of the night!

The Kaimo family. Not everyone is in this photograph, though.

I love the holidays because the entire experience in our household is inimitable and cannot be had during other times of the year. Time spent with the family is worth the time, money, and effort spent for the preparations. Walking down the street I grew up in, I inhale the crisp December air, look at the beautiful lights of every house, and I feel like a kid again, waiting for the clock to strike twelve, handing out the gifts as I do every year since I was old enough to read the tags on the presents.

I will never, ever lose faith in the Christmas season, and the happiness it unfailingly brings to me and the people I love.

Paskuhan 2010

2010-12-20T14:59:00.001+08:00

As compared to last year's Paskuhan, which totally rocked, I found that I enjoyed this Paskuhan less. Or maybe it's just because I didn't get a kiss from my crush this year. (For the full story, I would be glad to tell it in person, complete with a picture! Hehe.)

The YC Buddies met at UST early afternoon to exchange gifts, eat, and of course, camwhore!

I suggested a Lookbook-esque shoot, which shows me failing at being fierce.

Mga panty ni Ava.

Mandatory "pa-family portrait-epek" picture.

Our block, 2BES1, was supposed to have a drinking get-together at Tapsi, a resto-bar near UST. To my friends' surprise, I didn't attend. To quote Denisse, "Ikaw, tatamarin sa alak?!"

To be completely honest, the most enjoyable part of the day was when we were goofing around in Lovers Lane.
More pictures!

Most people attending were psyched because of Franco, Up Dharma Down, Pupil, and Kamikazee, but since I'm not a fan of these bands (do not shun me! I am not much into OPM, except for Urbandub and Parokya ni Edgar), I was indifferent. Of course, until I remembered that Gabby Alipe was in Franco. GABBY ALIPE GABBY ALIPE GABBY ALIPE GABBY ALIPE HNNNNNNG

By the way, I am totally jealous of my classmate who has a picture with him, even though I have my own pic with Gabby.

In the evening, I was with Chen, Lara and people I met through Tumblr: Andy, Sieg, and Alden (who I met for the first time). It was only for a short time, though, that I was with Hil, Reyvan (who I also met for the first time), Zy, and her boyfriend, because Andy and I went home early. He had work early the next morning, which meant he shouldn't go home late, which meant we didn't even get to see the fireworks, which to me was the entire point of going :(

Oh, and I found out that many other Tumblr people attended, too! I particularly wanted to meet up with Lloyd, Paolo, Yayen, and Gab, but cell signal was sucky and text messages were delayed like a preggy girl's period. Too bad.

Since the Paskuhan was sort of boring, I'm wishing that the Quadricentennial celebration would be spectacular.

You have had your fill of me.

2010-12-11T22:38:00.001+08:00

Ingrid Michaelson's songs have grown on me. I now listen to them every day. There are a few that I am especially fond of, and it's because the lyrics almost always hit the fucking bulls-eye.

[photo source]

Overboard is my favorite Ingrid song, which is about a strong, independent girl ("I'm a big girl now, see my big girl shoes. It'll take more than just a breeze to make me fall overboard") who is reluctantly falling in love ("But as strong as I seem to think I am, my distressing damsel she comes out at night, when the moon's filled up and your eyes are bright"). Perfect for me.

Die Alone is about pride (something we all know I have an abundance of) and how it can make you hate yourself for feeling vulnerable when in love.

Don't be a fool girl, tell him you love him

Don't be a fool girl, you're not above him...

What have I become?

Something soft and really quite dumb

'Coz I've fallen...

Also, I like this song because the title is something I've thought would happen to me. Shut up don't judge me okay lol.

Starting Now is the song for moving on with your life after a relationship has ended. It's about fresh starts ("Starting now I'll never know your name. Starting now I'll never feel the same. Starting now I wish you never came into my world") and erasing painful memories ("I want to burn the sheets that smell like your skin").

By the way, the title is from her song December Baby, wherein she talks about a relationship that's falling apart because the other is pulling away.

You have had your fill of me...

How can I catch up when I don't don't want to?

How can I catch up when I still want you?

Honestly, haven't a lot of us experienced being in a relationship where we feel we're the only one who is making an effort to make it work? Haven't you, at one point, felt like you were clutching at straws, desperately trying to hold on to whatever affection you were once given?

Other notable songs:

The Chain. Listen to the Live from Webster Hall version—the choir in the background, their layered voices, makes this song beautiful.
Giving Up
When the Leaves
Parachute: "I don't believe anything, don't trust anyone anymore, but I believe you when you say we're never gonna fall. Hand behind my neck, arm around my waist, never let me hit the ground, you'll never let me crash down." I want to feel this safe in love again.
Sky. A collaboration with Joshua Radin. Their vocals together are really something, and the song itself is sweet and mellow. Pang-in love. Nuks.
The Way I Am. For telling your sweetie that you'd love him no matter what, and telling him that you know he feels the same way. The line "'coz I love the way you call me baby, and you take me the way I am" always gives me the kiligz.
You and I. Bubbly and cute, this fun song is catchy as herpes. One that will have you singing all day (and getting annoyed because you can't hit the high note in the chorus).

Seriously. Listen to her. She writes the best stuff. She's the type of artist that makes you go, "Oh my god, those lyrics just described exactly how I feel."

ASPC is possibly the shittiest thing I have encountered on Facebook, including the "I'm Awesome!" page!

2010-12-10T22:55:00.001+08:00

Dear losers,
This saddens me. This really does. Actually, it disgusts and annoys me more than it saddens me, but that's not the point.

The point, dear losers, is that you actually had to make a page for this. You actually had to make a Facebook page crying out, "Where is my next boyfriend/girlfriend? I am an emotionally stunted person who needs to be in a relationship to feel like my life has meaning!"
"Anti-single". What bullshit. Being single is fun, but I guess y'all couldn't enjoy it because you're all just a pathetic waste of space. It doesn't help my disgust that almost all of the likers are jejemons. Holy mother of fuck.

Seriously, did anyone really find love here? Or have they just met someone who is as unstable as they are?
Jesus, the shit people come up with on the Internet. I swear to god I just might like this page just to be able to troll you, dear losers.

God, see what you're doing to me? I promised myself I'd be nicer, but goddammit if you didn't make it so hard. Fuck nice. I'm going to troll you 'til you block me.

90's cartoons are still the best.

2010-12-06T21:22:00.000+08:00

Last week, there was this thing going 'round on Facebook:

After which I changed my picture to Ginger Foutley of As Told by Ginger for the lulz. Why for the lulz? Not that I don't think child abuse is a serious issue, but I don't think changing profile pictures would actually do anything for that cause.

However, to my surprise, a whole lot of people went and did this. My News Feed looks like a commercial for Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon.

It's nice, though. The pictures took me on a nostalgia trip, during which I realized that I'm only eighteen yet I have forgotten a lot of things in my childhood.

For posterity, I'm blogging about the cartoons which defined my childhood.

Hey Arnold!

One of the best ever. My mom and I watched this all the time.
The very endearing Helga Pataki is my favorite, of course. With her beautiful rhymes and smartass attitude, how can you not love her? And who can ever forget the phrase "Move it, football head"?

Their scenes always give me the kiligz. Seriously.

Favorite episode, off the top of my head: when Arnold and Helga get cast as Romeo and Juliet in a school play. (Or almost any episode where Arnold gets to show off his skylight. Dat shit's da bomb.)

As Told by Ginger

This series follows the life of teenager Ginger Foutley as she navigates the shark pool known as adolescence.
Mom and I also loved this show. She used to remark that we loved it because Lois, Ginger's mom, was a single parent, and that we could relate to the dramz~

We particularly love Courtney Gripling, whose outfits were always so cute.
You know, for a cartoon character.

Favorite episode, off the top of my head: when it's rumored that Ginger kissed a cool high school guy named Jake. Or when Courtney and Hope battled for Lucky Jr. High's queen bee position.

Dexter's Laboratory

Boy genius Dexter and his ditzy sister Deedee get into all kinds of trouble because of scientific experiments gone haywire.
I've always wondered, what is with Dexter's accent? Sounds European.
Besides the funny main episodes, I have always loved The Justice Friends: Major Glory, Val Hallen, and The Infraggable Krunk were the best cartoon shorts ever.

I had a crush on Major Glory and these pies!!!
Especially the cherry one.

Favorite episode, off the top of my head: the famous Omelette du Fromage episode, of course! It taught me that a) French sounds really cool, b) omelette du fromage is cheese omelette, c) being able to say only one thing makes you popular. Also, the episode where Dexter (or his dad, I can't remember) eats Mom's blueberry pie to look for something.

Powerpuff Girls

Besides having the cutest little drawings (seriously, how cute are they?) and the cutest little names, they had one of the most kickass theme songs a cartoon could have.

Favorite episode, off the top of my head: when the Rowdyruff Boys were created by Mojo Jojo out of snips, snails, and puppy dogs' tails (which he took from The Talking Dog).

The trip down childhood nostalgia is far from over. Expect my next posts to be about 90's TV shows.

Photo sources, in order:

Sucky pictures + Sucky captions = Sucky blog entry

2010-12-03T00:20:00.000+08:00

My mind feels really cluttered right now: thoughts of school, home, and people keep spinning about, and I can't seem to write a single coherent sentence. So I'm going to post random pictures!

A painting I made back in elementary school. Lookit the purty colors!

Okay, okay, I know I suck. I suck big-time. I suck so much that you probably don't even know that the brown/flesh-colored rectangle at the lower-right side of the canvas is supposed to be a house.

But my rainbow is really cute. I love rainbow stripes.

Oh, and the jagged dark green thingy to the left is actually a forest. A fucking forest.

Yeah.

My new favorite shirt! Bought this at Black Sheep (gotta love that boutique) for only P250.

It's black, so I automatically love it, and it's got a frowney (that is the opposite of smiley, right? Lawl) face on it! A fucking frowney face! How very appropriate for me! :D

Bench earrings for around P150. I have been eyeing this pair for about a month.

A huge and painful reminder of my first time to go karting. When I wore my PE shorts, it was really noticeable. Looked as though I went through a sorority hazing ritual. #SlightExaggeration

When I ran, it hurt like fuck, though.

Okay. Second post for December, and it sucks.
But if you like it, comment and boost what little confidence I have. xoxo

Cumolonimbus

2010-12-02T00:38:00.000+08:00

It's all cloudy from hereon in.

Malabo.

The fog still hasn't lifted, and I'm left in a cold haze of confusion.

Where is the flash of lightning that would enlighten me? Thunder to call my attention? Corporeal rain, biting wind, to at least point out to me where we stand?

Maybe the clouds will part, ifs will fade, doubts will disappear, and fear will shrink.
This is, after all, the Philippines. The sun will come out eventually and shine to disperse the darkness.

Bondage

2010-11-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

I am tied down
by dirty cotton bandages
I am forced back
into an unyielding wooden spineboard
I lie vulnerable
exposed for all the world to see
I am helpless
in this game we play,
bound to the idea
of you and me.

Inspired months ago, during my NSTP make-up session.

Depression Junkie

2010-11-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

Well, am I?

In Closer (one of my favorite movies), there was a scene where Clive Owen and the delicious Jude Law were locked in a heated argument over Julia Roberts.

0:27

Dan: ...if you love her, you'll let her go so she can be happy.
Larry: She doesn't want to be happy.
Dan: Everybody wants to be happy.
Larry: Depressives don't. They want to be unhappy to confirm they're depressed. If they were happy they couldn't be depressed anymore. They'd have to go out into the world and live. Which can be depressing.

Confirming what I suspected, Kat told me that I seek out things to be depressed about. The sucky realization that this might be true in my case made me feel... well, what else, sad.

Maybe I gravitate towards darkness and failure because on some level, I don't want to change the misery to which I had become accustomed. Maybe my unyielding pessimism is my way of avoiding pain. Maybe, in my subconscious, I feel undeserving of happiness, and I nurture this self-defeating attitude by finding a way to feel like shit. Maybe lang naman.

How sick is that? I have had quite enough of being all dark and twisty. Time for a change, methinks.

I am serious this time. No more halfway relationships, no more stupid decisions, no more writing ~~depressing stuff~~ overly emotional posts, no more waiting for McDreamy when I could have McVet (Grey's Anatomy references are the best). Genuine happiness might be just around the corner if I open my eyes.

(Depression junkie. Heh. If it weren't so twisted, it would sound quite cool.)

For posterity: How I feel right now about Future Boyfriend

2010-11-26T22:31:00.000+08:00

I like writing letters to future boyfriend because with everything that has gone wrong in my previous relationships, I'd like to think things will get better the second time around (actually, the fourth time around, because I have had three boyfriends.)

Dear future boyfriend,
I know that when we get together, you will love me for all my quirks, so I am not going to hold back what I really think. Instead, I am going to be completely honest with you about all these lovey-dovey stuff couples do.

Monthsaries. I HATE MONTHSARIES. To quote a text sent to me by my friend, "Couples celebrate monthsaries because most relationships don't reach anniversaries." (I corrected the horrible grammar) True. How very, very true.
Seriously, do you want fireworks for every thirty days we manage not to break up? It's like you're on the edge of your seat, expecting us to split. So unless it's our twelfth monthsary, which is our anniversary (duh), don't expect me to jump up and down with joy.
Also, those special numbers couples have, like back in the Friendster days when you'd put your monthsary date in Roman Numerals (miKaeLa_xxvii—yes, I really did that!)? I hate them. Please do not makea big deal out of a "special number".

Pet names. Sweetie, honey, angel, baby, and the jologs bhie, bhe, dhie (Daddy), mhie (Mommy—lawl at the suckass pet names people come up with)... everything has been used. How about we make it more interesting? Twat, slutwhore, jizz-breath, fatass... I am especially partial to slutwhore, because it is quite catchy. "Good morning, sweetheart, I love you!" just doesn't have the same edge as "Good morning, slutwhore, I love you!"
The exception here would be princess, because no one has ever called me that. Princess Ela sounds precious. This would be better if you gave me a diamond-encrusted tiara, but cubic zirconia would work just as well.

Theme song. Assuming that we have the same taste in music, which is improbable because I do not have a musical soulmate, I would like to say this: I am not going to let a relationship ruin yet another good song for me. My ex already did that for The Fight is Over.
Instead, we are gonna pick a theme song that is so tacky (like Pangako Sa'yo), so common (Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are or anything by Paramore, really—I FUCKING HATE PARAMORE), and so annoying (anything Miley Cyrus) that if we break up, I will never feel bad when hearing our theme song.
If we use, say, songs by The Cure or Fall Out Boy or Urbandub, I will feel awful when we break up because I wouldn't be able to listen to them without wanting to rip my heart out with misery over missing you. And you are not worth losing my favorite music over. Robert Smith/Pete Wentz & Patrick Stump/Gabby Alipe > Future Boyfriend.

Vices. Heh. This is a rather awkward issue, but it's really simple for me. You can drink, smoke, and get stoned. As long as you tell me, and as long as you don't go overboard, I am totally cool with it. See, I am gonna be an amazing girlfriend, I don't even know why I'm still single.
Seriously, though, I guess I'm cool about vices because I don't wanna be that girl who's all, "Hoy, bakit umiinom ka nanaman, wala ka talagang modo, nag-nag-nag..."
(Also because I probably drink more than you do, so I don't want you giving me shit about my vices.)

Now, I know what you're thinking: Damn, my new girlfriend is screwed up! But in exchange for you putting up with my fuckton of eccentricities and dark-and-twisty issues, I promise to be incredibly thoughtful, sweet, generous, and the coolest girlfriend you will ever have in your pathetic life.

Loving you with all the pieces of the black hole previously known as my heart,
Ela

This post is about Tumblr, but I am posting it on Blogspot. What what what

2010-11-25T00:32:00.000+08:00

I told y'all about the meet-up last Saturday, right?

As I recall, it was sometime in June when I attended my first Tumblr meet-up, which was held at UST. It was the first day of classes, which made me doubly psyched that day.

Also, follow me on Twitter!

How crazy was it that I was so reluctant to go? The only person I talked to at first was Iyay. Then I met Becs and Nheykii, and the rest, as they say, is history. That afternoon, I eventually met a whole bunch of other people: Sieg (we played Frisbee!), Leo, Prex, DJGelo (who treated Nheykii and I to beer and liempo, teehee), Kuya Maxene, Andy, Tey, Zy, Kevin—okay, my memory fails me. There were too many people to remember. Don't feel bad if I didn't mention you.

Before, I was skeptical about meeting people online. Let's face it, we hear way too many horror stories about online friends meeting and then someone ends up getting kidnapped/robbed/raped/killed/tricked in some way.
Thanks to Tumblr, though, I met amazing people. Not only in real life; I talk to Phlip (from Cagayan de Oro), Vivien (from Cebu), and Jam (from Davao) on a regular basis. They be my LDR bbs.

Some want to quit Tumblr because it interferes with schoolwork. Hell yeah, it does. Backreading alone takes up the two to three hours I could have spent doing homework.
But I will never quit Tumblr because not only does it broaden my mind through thought-provoking posts, but the users are simply a-fucking-mazing because of their wit, intellect, talent, and uniqueness that I sometimes find absent in most people.
(last paragraph inspired by Abby's post)

On being a free bitch, baby

2010-11-24T23:37:00.000+08:00

One of my best friends is currently going through a rough patch with her boyfriend. She is, of course, very sad about this whole affair and being the terrific friend that I am, I text her every day, asking how she's holding up, getting updates, that sort of thing.

Now, making this about me because this is, after all, my blog and I am entitled to self-centeredness every once in a while...
When she rants to me about her boyfriend, I could not help but think, Buti na lang wala akong boyfriend. No drama, no fights, no one telling me what the hell I can and can't do (my mom can't even control me, who the fuck do you think you are?).
Times like these, I am grateful to be single.

It's just like Peter Angelo said, "Ang dami-daming na ngang poproblemahin sa buhay natin, dadagdagan mo pa ba ng love life?"

(I won't say no to love once it comes around again, though. I think it's all a matter of finding the right person to whom you should open your heart.)
I digress.

Tumblr Meet-up at MOA (Or yet another example of how I suck at titles)

2010-11-23T00:47:00.000+08:00

I had a life last Saturday! Yay!

Since I didn't know how to get to MOA, I met with Andy at the Quezon Avenue MRT station after getting lost several times. Seriously, my calves burned from going up and down the overpass and several flights of stairs—I have no sense of direction.

Anyway, when we got to the meet-up, I met a few new people. Yes, only a few, because my already endangered social skills seemed even worse that day.

The few new people I got to meet, though (Plaridel, Ran, and Hil, for example), were the ones I wanted to meet, so it was cool.

My I-only-just-arrived-after-commuting-and-walking-around-in-thousand-degree-heat face.

L-R: They didn't introduce me to this dude, Iskat, Rain, Andy, a really gorgeous girl named Ela (lulz), Sieg

I knocked back a couple bottles of Red Horse (yes, only a couple of bottles. Yay for non-alcoholism!) with Nheykii and Joseph, after which they convinced me to go karting in Boom Land, along with Cedie, Jason, Eeyah, Che, and Michael.

For my first time to go karting, I like to think I didn't suck. That is, if you don't count the two times I crashed. The second time, when I collided with Nheykii, it gave me large bruises on my thighs.
You guys. Karting. Is. Awesome.
I'm always saying that I would love to go drag racing. Since I don't drive and I don't have a badass boyfriend who would take me to such meets, the rush of karting was so amazing for me.

Afterwards, I went back to MOA and hung out with the rest of the Tumblr people, most of whom I didn't know and who decided to go drinking at Padi's. Since I didn't know them and I was too socially-awkward to introduce myself and there was no room for us at the table anyway, Andy and I sat on the stone walls and looked up at the stars and listened to Fall Out Boy because we are really cool like that.
(Man, that is one fucking long sentence.)

Bryan gave Prex, some dude who I think is called Gabe, and I a ride home. It was around 1AM when I got home and I was supposed to be home by 11PM.
*~rebel~* ako, lawl.

Hume-Helga sa blog about hair

2010-11-20T17:05:00.000+08:00

And when I say Helga, I mean her. Not the blonde girl from Hey Arnold! who has a crush on Football Head. Which reminds me, my torrent download of Hey Arnold! is taking forever.

Anyway, about what I was gonna say...

I have been thinking of getting neon highlights in my hair ever since:

I saw Jenna Ushkowitz (Tina) on Glee
My friends spritzed on temporary color onto my hair
I watched Scott Pilgrim. (In my opinion, Knives Chau > Ramona V. Flowers, but they both equally rock the neon highlights, which I so want.)

But I'm not fair-skinned like them chickadees, so I dunno which color I should get.

If I had the guts to actually go through with this, I would probably pick:

dark tulip
pillarbox red
atlantic blue

Oh, sweet lord, what I would give to be able to pull this off.

Shopping > Harry Potter

2010-11-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

I cut my last two classes to meet my mom at Gateway with the intention to watch Harry Potter. In the middle of stuffing our faces at Taco Bell, however, my mom offered me two thousand pesos—in cash, clothes, shoes, books, whatever I wanted—if I agreed to shop instead of watching HP.
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BETRAYED DANIEL RADCLIFFE. I truly do.

To ease my pain, I bought a pair of Lee skinny jeans and a black lace top that Mom calls *~goth~* but whatever I love it because it's black, both of which I might wear at this year's Paskuhan.
I also got:

Yay yay yay booklust! It's cheaper by P200 in Fully Booked than in Powerbooks.

From People Are People.
It ain't black, it's gray, so stop saying that I always wear black (even though I know I do).

Wedges! I finally got girly-girl shoes and now have a reason to paint my toenails.

And for all you Potterheads who want to send me Howlers for choosing shopping over the movie, let me just say this: before we went shopping, Mom further sweetened the deal by promising to give me money to see HP on Sunday. See, I did not totally betray the Order of the Phoenix. <3

Cliff

2010-11-16T19:12:00.000+08:00

Everything ends.
Friendship,
love,
family,
friends;
I don’t believe in unconditional love.
Everybody has got to stop loving at some point.
You can do something to stop them loving you
(no guarantees that you will do it,
but rest assured, you can do something).
When that day comes, you will thank me for saying this.

Tongue ring ~is love~

2010-11-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

Today, I decided to do the thing I have wanted to do for a couple of years now.
I got my tongue pierced! Yay!

It cost P700 at Toxztattoo in Robinson's Metro East.
Some might find the price a bit steep, but it's worth it to know that I'm getting a safe procedure, not in some random, hepatitis-infested tattoo parlor from Recto.

I am especially proud because I went there all by myself, without a friend to egg me on. Granted, my friends were all busy so I didn't have a choice, but still, gotta give me props for doing this without someone beside me, right? Right?!

At Toxztattoo, they didn't use guns, which made me nervous because that was how I pictured getting my piercing. However, I decided to suck it up and go for it.
The dude used some sort of clamp on my tongue, then used this huge needle thingy to pierce it. I gotta say, even though the sensation was freaky—like, damn, some dude is putting a hole in my tongue!—it didn't hurt much.
Before I knew it, the procedure was over and, ta-da! I had a tongue ring!

Guidelines:

Take 250g of amoxicillin at least twice a day, every six hours (Tonight, I realized that I could not spell amoxicillin)
Take mefanamic acid if it starts to hurt
Don't eat solid food for three days
Only remove the tongue ring after two weeks

Truth be told, I was more nervous telling my mom about my piercing than I was during the actual procedure. Once I walked into the house, she rattled off a sermon, something like, "Bakit mo ginawa yan? Sinabi nang ayoko magpa-pierce ka eh! Tigas talaga ng ulo mo! Daig mo pa si Kuya Sean mo! Bahala ka, pag na-tetano ka, di kita ipapagamot!"
(Full of exclamation points.)

After she calmed down, though, she opened up to the idea of my new piece of jewelry. Knowing full well that I couldn't eat solid food for three days, she baked the frozen pizza and placed it in front of me.

Me: Oh, nagluto ka? Di ako pwede kumain!

Mom: Alam ko, iniinggit lang kita.

Metanoia

2010-11-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

The Behavioral Science societies of UST, ADMU, and DLSU are hosting an event called Metanoia.

That's my classmate Paulo right there. Say hi!

There would be a fashion show in the program, and afterwards, dancing! Mingling! Party! Free-flowing cocktails!

And I have almost decided on not going.

Which is very surprising, because FREE-FLOWING COCKTAILS!!1!11!

Okay, I know I may seem like a *~wild~* partygoer, but in all honesty, I am not. Just because I ~~am an alcoholic~~ love my alcohol doesn't mean I'm always all up for clubbing.

What's more, even though the organizers said to wear anything, I highly doubt that you can wear anything. If I show up in jeans and a shirt, I'd be thrown out on my fat ass.

My point is that I don't have an outfit that says "party", and I am not shelling out money just to wear something decent to an event where people dress to impress. Like Gab said, "Patalbugan ng suot dun." Better not to go and save my cash than to show up wearing my uniform: ratty shorts, a black shirt, sneakers.

I'm now thinking of other things to do on the 19th, including having a sleepover/Manila tour with the YC Buddies, go drinking with other friends (probably Robi and the gang, with whom I haven't hung out for a while), chilling at Padi's with Mojz, or watching a movie.

You know, while dreaming about the free-flowing cocktails.

Little Miss Liar

2010-11-13T23:47:00.000+08:00

I won't say I'm a compulsive liar, because I'm not. However, I do tell a fair amount of lies, in particular:

"Di ako umiyak." When I wake up with swollen, itchy eyes.
"Di ako gutom." When I'm trying to save money by not buying food, and my friends are all eating. Best said with a casual eyeroll to indicate level of indifferent not-hungriness.
"Nag-aral na po ako." When exams are approaching and my mom asks if I'm studying in my room, but in reality, I'm rereading Pugad Baboy instead of lecture notes.

But there are serious stuff that I lie about, even to my closest friends.

When I get hurt or am seriously down, I put on my best John Bender BAMF who-gives-a-fuck attitude, not letting anyone on to the fact that I am screaming with misery inside.

Pride, I guess, leads me to do this. My ginormous pride keeps me from letting others know that I get hurt, because I want to project the image of a tough chick. Never let 'em see you sweat is one of my life credos (the other being Eat now, regret later). It's completely ironic, because I tell my friends that there is no shame in crying, that it's okay to be hurt every once in a while.

It's highly disconcerting for me to have a friend who can see right through my badass façade. How do you fool someone who knows you that well?

When would I have to guts to show people, that I get hurt, cry, and am vulnerable?

Way to end the first week back to school!

2010-11-13T01:03:00.003+08:00

The first week of school ended pretty well. Since the last professor for the day wasn't coming, Denisse, Gab, Kat, and I decided to go to SM San Lazaro.
We had lunch at KFC, where a bunch of noisy, annoying ten-year-olds were being noisy and annoying while waiting for their food. My friends and I marveled at how fast kids grew up these days (heh, that makes us sound like grandparents): I mean, the girls were all dolled up, with make-up and gladiator shoes. LAWL WHAT EVEN.

Then we headed to National Bookstore at my suggestion. I was pretty sure that they didn't sell most of the books I wanted to buy (Stories, The Solitude of Prime Numbers, Money, to name a few), but I wanted to check it out anyway. To my dismay, they didn't have Pugad Baboy 22, but look at what I did buy at NBS:

A notebook and pens for school, just like a *~good student~*

I have been looking for years for a black notebook, and here it is!
Will write in it with a silver pen and use it as a journal.

This copy of The Hunchback of Notre Dame is NOT the Disney version. It's Victor Hugo's original, dark tale.
Also, a huge shout out to Peter Angelo, who is in love with J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye. I would have just borrowed a copy from him, but he refuses to lend his books. Selfish cunt.

We hit a few different stores because Denisse wanted to buy a gift for a friend, and we eventually ended up in the department store.

Rockin' the fedoras with Gab.

I tried on the temporary, spray-on hair color in the color red. They said it looked nice on me, and I quite agree. Must buy a can of that stuff.

Yay for good friends and fun days :D
(Smiley for emphasis on my happiness.)

Wild Mood Swings

2010-11-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

So this week, my mood swings have been acting up worse than usual. Like this evening, in UST, I was pretty happy. On the jeepney ride home, I was so depressed I wanted to cry. On the tricycle, I cheered up again.

The weird thing is, I don't know why.
Don't tell me it's hormones, I know my riding-the-crimson-wave mood swings from the ones that genuinely make me miserable.
I honestly hope it's just adolescent angst, even though I'd look like a whiny brat. I don't want to be on an *~emotional roller coaster*~ for the rest of my days.
(Tildes and asterisks because it's so cliche, I can hardly stand to type it, but I am at a sudden loss for words.)

By the way, the title is a reference to The Cure, which makes me happy somewhat.

Movies, movies, and movies!

2010-11-09T23:16:00.006+08:00

I spent my sembreak mostly pigging out, trolling on the Innernetz, and watching movies. Of all the movies I watched, there are three that made it to my "Oh my god I love that movie!" List.

Dead Poets Society

[photo source]

I loved this movie because I always wished to have a teacher like Mr. Keating, or as his boys call him, O Captain, My Captain: someone who is passionate about literature and poetry and uses that passion to inspire others.
The phrase carpe diem or "seize the day" was used frequently throughout the film. Keating's students took these words to heart by doing things they normally wouldn't have the courage to do, like asking a girl out, trying out for a part in a play, or just breaking out of his shell. Granted, Charlie Dalton went from daring to moronically rash, but he was such a hot BAMF that he was able to pull it off. Teehee.
Favorite quote:

No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world. —John Keating

Closer

[photo source]

Some might find this movie tedious and uninteresting. Me? I find it fascinating, for the film leaves you unsettled with questions that trouble the mind for days at a time: Is love an accident waiting to happen? How do you go about achieving intimacy?

I was completely enthralled by the way the movie portrayed relationships. There are no black-and-white areas or hard-and-fast rules, only the vaguest definitions of love.

The opening line, Hello, stranger, set the tone for the characters' lack of intimacy with one another, despite the fact that they have plenty of sex. It goes to show that intimacy does not always mean sex, and sex does not always mean intimacy.

Favorite quotes:

I amuse you, but I bore you. —Alice

He tastes like you, but sweeter! —Anna

You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram. —Dan

Honorable mention:

Fight Club, although every bit as good as these movies (some might say even better), did not make it to my list for the reason that I couldn't relate to the characters.

Mmm, break me off a piece of that.

[photo source]

What I did love about it was the way it was fast-paced and interesting, never boring, never predictable. Every scene was packed with action, and not action for excitement's sake, but the kind that actually advances the plot and adds more tension to the movie until the incredibly constructed twist ending.

If you know any other movies you think I might like, I'm just a comment away!

Yay, Amex!

2010-11-08T01:02:00.002+08:00

After a couple weeks of waiting, my American Express credit card finally arrived. Yay!

Forgive the bagong-ligo hair.

Finally, I can buy almost anything I want even if I don't have the cash on hand to pay for it.
Here's how it's gonna work:

I see something I want
I, like a good girl, ask permission from my mom to buy it
If I get the go-signal, I buy it
My mom would pay for it using the money she's gonna dock from my allowance.

Sure, it's got a measly P2000-limit, but I can deal. Most of the things on my very long to-buy list cost less than P1500 anyway (although I'm only supposed to use P1000 per month).

I will devirginize my Amex tomorrow, when I plan to buy Stories, edited by Neil Gaiman. Yay!

Oh, and I am excited because I am so materialistic, every time I go to the mall and see something I like that I can't buy, I die a little inside.

In my room, now!

2010-11-07T01:35:00.002+08:00

Since a lot of my friends both IRL and online have not been to my house yet (not that I'm inviting you, lulz), I want to give you guys a tour of my small, cluttered room.

Artwork bag
Backpack I bought with my last boyfriend. Yes, I still use it, because it's pretty cool.
Favorite bag. Mom's 2009 Christmas gift.
First book in my favorite trilogy, Griffin and Sabine.
My BlogBerry planner. There, I write down schoolwork to accomplish (as if I get anything done), stuff that makes a day memorable, or just scribbles when I am bored (especially in my last Philosophy class).
Tampons.
Pugad Baboy 19. My love for Pugad Baboy is something that my mom, my dad, and I have in common.
Phoebe, my beloved Japanese Spitz. My mom bought her as a gift to me when I was a high school sophomore.

UST Architecture lanyard which Peter Angelo gave to me. Actually, he didn't give it to me; the cheapskate actually bought it and demanded that I pay him P120 when he handed it to me.
Denisse gave me a pair of brown sunglasses for my birthday.
White-framed sunglasses.
Midol, my savior when I am having menstrual cramps.
Jewelry box which holds MANY pairs of earrings.
A Gibo calendar. I'm still annoyed that I wasn't able to participate in the 2010 presidential elections.
Three awesome pairs of earrings that Aya gave me as a Christmas present last year.
Prom photobooth picture of me and my high school barkada, Yeah.
My favorite pair of Bench boxer shorts.

Ignore my reflection in the mirror.

This is supposed to be my study table, but it turned into a clothes hamper.

High school memorabilia: ID, commuter's pass, trinkets, pieces from old bulletin board decorations... I'm a pack rat.
Stuffed toys. See the visible one, the purple teddy bear? Her name is Cherry, and she used to have a limp but she has undergone surgery and is now able to walk.
Toys from my childhood that neither me nor my mom could let go of.
Books. I proudly display the ones that I bought with my own money: 1984, the Griffin and Sabine trilogy, stuff by Aimee Bender.
Religious books like God Allows U-turns and Daily Pocket Bible for Teens. My aunt likes to give me this stuff, and I read them, of course, but not as enthusiastically as I read the Harry Potter series which, incidentally, is hidden behind those religious books.
A painting I made when I was in sixth grade! (I am horrible at any attempt at creativity and art, save for writing.)
A Harry Potter poster.

There you have it. Maybe if you mosey on over to my place, you can chill with me here. Although I gotta warn you, we have three cats and two dogs, so if you're allergic/not fond of pets, you'd best stay away.

Why I blog

2010-11-06T00:59:00.003+08:00

Nights like this, I feel like Blogger is my best friend.

I know what you're thinking: Ela, you are fucking insane and your life must be so sad that your best friend is a blogging platform. Go to therapy, you sick, twisted excuse for a person.

So maybe I exaggerate a little. But honestly, when I feel like I'm engulfed in loneliness, I turn to my blog, where the words are my friends, and every minute I spend structuring my paragraphs is a minute I escape from overthought angst.

This is also probably why I don't want to switch to Wordpress: Blogger feels like home now. Its blue and orange theme is familiar and comforting and gives me a sense of purpose when writing, as opposed to the stark, unfriendly, cold gray of Wordpress.

Strawberry shampoo

2010-11-05T20:04:00.000+08:00

Morning's a peach, so goes a song, and it truly is, when my eyelids flutter open and your warmth soaks through the blanket and I realize your arm is around me.
I wiggle, I wiggle again, gently—I don't want to wake you, you look ever so peaceful asleep—and look at you, taking in the quiet breathing. I know you're still asleep, but I put my lips on yours very, very lightly, and I taste cherry lipbalm: mine, not yours, remains from last night's intense make-out session.
My fingers feel slightly oily and I smell bananas and latex. Bright yellow wrappers litter the tile floor like confetti, and I spot a few condoms thrown carelessly under your bed.
(No, no, we did not go all the way; we just blew up the rubbers and played a little volleyball with them, and I love that I can be that silly with you, but I digress—)
Your hair smells familiar, the kind of familiar that I associate with my mom, and it hits me, that you both use the same strawberry-scented shampoo. In all triviality, I have to smile, that the two most important people to me use the same kind of hair product, and I begin to think that it was written in the stars, and I suppress a laugh at such a simple thought.

As much as I was saturated in the moment, though, I get nauseated by the fruit scents, and I broke the peace by sneezing, disgustingly, in the pillow.
Sorry, I whisper, unsure if you were awake. Go back to sleep.
Tis mmkay. I love you, sweet pea, you mumble, not even opening your eyes.
Aaah, on to vegetables now.

Burning cash

2010-11-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, my mom and I went to Robinson's Metro East to shop for a few necessary items, including a new pair of school shoes for me. We ended up getting a hell of a lot more than we intended to. Yay!

School shoes from Sugus.

Girls in Trucks by Katie Crouch and The English Roses: Too Good to Be True by Madonna.
I finished the first one yesterday. The protagonist is a girl attracted to relationships in which there is no future, so predictably, I liked it.

Apple green shorts from Black Sheep.
I wanted to buy a shirt on which is printed a pair of lips puffing on a cigar,
but mom said it was too provocative.
K.

Wildly oversized ring from the department store.

Shirt from Jag.

Pretty flats from Janilyn.

A few days after we went shopping, my mom said I was a little more helpful in doing the household chores. She thinks retail therapy is all it takes for me to get going.

Mom, buy me a car and I shall be your slave *~forevz~*.

YC "Reunion"

2010-10-31T20:58:00.001+08:00

Last Tuesday was clearance day, which I think is utterly pointless because we don't need the "clearance" paper in order to enroll, but it's an excuse to go to UST, so whatever.

I'm rambling.

Anyway, the YC Buddies went to TriNoma to have a little fun. This is special because all seven of us are rarely together if we're not in UST.

The TriNoma branch of Yellow Cab is where we first bonded, on August 14, 2009 (I remember it because it was my birthday). Aya christened us the YC Buddies after that.

Smiling because we just attacked a pepperoni and mushroom pizza.
Dayuuum, gurlz, y'all are fine. Lawl.

After window shopping at Team Manila, where they had to drag me away from the racks of black shirts, we went to Powerbooks. I blew most of my money on an Aimee Bender book titled An Invisible Sign of My Own, but it was so worth it.

I also saw a collection of stories by authors like Neil Gaiman, Jodi Picoult, and Chuck Palahniuk, among others. It costs around P1200. I put it on my long list of books I shall buy once I get my Amex (which, by the way, will arrive sometime in the coming week).

Timezone! I think we took pictures at every ride and game there.

That's my score right there. Fuck yeah.

Ohai, Ressa.

I just love Time Crisis 4.
LOL at my "fierce" face.

Videoke after playing games. We had to wait a bit because all the booths were occupied.

[Marist] Aya

Gab & I scored this, thankyouverymuch.

Kat, Ressa, Ava.

Song list:

Freestyle: Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang (Gab & I)
Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat: Lucky (Gab & I, again)
Music & Lyrics OST: Way Back Into Love (Gab & Ressa)
Monica: Angel of Mine (Denisse)
David Archuleta: Crush (Ava)
Taylor Swift: Love Story (Aya)
Urbandub: Frailty (Aya & I)
Bituin Escalante: Kung ako na lang Sana (Kat)
Journey: Faithfully (Gab & I, yet again. Mic hogs.)

I really enjoyed belting out that last song. I can't hit dem high notes ala Rachel Berry, but I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. (Soprano 2 in my high school glee club, I was.)

And to finish, some more pictures of us, because you really need to see this:

Top hat like a bawzz.

Distance

2010-10-31T00:16:00.005+08:00

My mom and I had yet another fight the other day, after I got home from an impromptu sleepover at Gab's.

Mom said the usual stuff: that I was a horrible daughter, I was going too far, she was going to send me back to Marikina. And you know what? I think her last idea wasn't a bad one.

Lately, the two of us have been fighting more than usual. I feel suffocated, she feels neglected; it's not a healthy combination.

Which is why maybe, not living together for a while might do us good. You know, like how some couples "cool off".

I don't want to go back to Marikina, though; the commute is more tiring from UST to there than to here in San Mateo, which is why I have tried to convince my mom to let me stay in a dorm.

I think me living in a dorm would benefit us both because

it would be so much easier for me to go to school. Less hassle, less time and energy spent.
I honestly think I could focus more on my studies if I did
my mom and I would stop jumping down each other's throats. I believe some distance would do us good. It would help us appreciate each other.

My mom would never approve, though, because

she would remind me what I told her years ago: "Kaya ko naman mag-commute araw-araw."
she would say, "Ngayon ngang malayo bahay mo eh lagi kang naglalakwatsa, pag dorm ka pa kaya?"
she would say, "Tayong dalawa na nga lang, iiwan mo pa 'ko?"

Plus, she doesn't trust me at all now. I can't say I blame her, but damn, if she would just let me dorm for even a semester, I'd prove to her that it's good for us both.

Talent is sexy.

2010-10-25T13:18:00.003+08:00

As a rule, I always have been one to fall for talented guys, especially those with musical or artistic talent. God help me if you are a guy with both—I will be onto you like Paris Hilton on coke.

When I say musical talent, I don't just mean someone who knows know to strum a guitar, because that is too commonplace and cliche (no offense to guitar players).

I just think that piano or violin is classier, although that may just be me having loved Meteor Garden's Hua Tze Lei back when I was a kid.

If you ask me who my crushes are, my top three would be:

Robert Smith of The Cure.
Don't give me shit about him wearing more make-up than I do.
Don't give me shit about him being six years older than my mom.
Don't give me shit about him at all, because goddammit, I love him.
[photo source]

Gabby Alipe of Urbandub.
I saw him perform a couple of times, and I also met him. That's right, bitches, be jealous, because I have met, talked with, and have a picture with, this awesome guy right here.
[photo source]

Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy.
I love him so much that he was the cause of a fight my ex-boyfriend and I had during an FOB concert. I am not even kidding.
[photo source]

All in a band, all musically inclined (duh), all songwriters. Their talent shines through in every lyric—the ones that make me go, Oh my god he just sang everything I am feeling right now—of countless songs that they have written.

Never mind that not all of them are physically attractive. Their talent makes them more than enough, makes them better than the gorgeous-yet-dumb stereotypes multiplying like bacteria these days.

My new theme is awesome and don't you say otherwise

2010-10-25T03:49:00.001+08:00

With absolutely no thanks to the years of computer "lessons" I have had during elementary and high school, I have successfully managed to personalize my blog!

It was actually Robbie, one of my favorite bloggers, who inspired me to customize my blog because of his post. Taking his words to heart, I scoured the Innernetz for an easy-to-manipulate Blogspot theme.

A couple of hours later, ta-da! I had this simple albeit cute new theme.

IT IS CUTE, OKAY, DO NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE.

The cigarette header is actually part of one of Peter Angelo's paintings. That's one of the perks of having an artistically talented best friend, and when I showed it to him, he was all flattered and shit. Lawl.

I know this is just a really simple layout, but it was a challenge for me, not being oriented in CSS. So, screw you, I am giving myself a round of applause for attempting this *~creative~* endeavor! Yay, me!

A letter to future boyfran (and no, it's not Desmond)

2010-10-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

Since everybody's writing this sort of shit, I decided to make one of my own, too.

Dear future boyfriend,

I hate you. Yeah, you read that right. I fucking hate you for making me wait this long. I have been so lonely and so sad, I've almost given up hope that someone could love me unconditionally again.

That is, if you do love me. Because let's face it, I feel like one of the most unlovable people in this part of the Philippines. So you loving me unconditionally, accepting my many, many, faults, is only a snowball's chance in the usual scorching 25°C heat of Manila.

See? See what you did to me? You've taken so long that you've turned me into this cynical, embittered, pessimistic, forever-is-just-a-word, romcoms-are-goddamn-lies person who thinks that happy endings would happen to everyone but me. You took your time, eh? Dragged your feet? I bet you even wondered whether I was worth your time, didn't you, you son of a bitch.

*sigh* But then again, they do say good things come to those who wait. Well, future boyfriend, I have waited. Now all that's left for us to do is jump into this thing together, because let's face it, I am in love with you, and you say you're in love with me too, and the only way I can believe you is to give this relationship thingy a real shot.

I love you. I hate myself for being emotionally vulnerable yet again, but I can't help it. I love you.

Make damn sure that the wait was worth it.

~~Forever~~ yours,

Ela

No Urbandub for me

2010-10-23T01:39:00.002+08:00

Thank you, Facebook, for rubbing it in. I swear to god, I hate you so much sometimes.

If you follow me on Twitter, you've probably seen my miserable Tweetitow posts. This morning, when I phoned Music Museum to inquire about tickets, they informed me that all tickets were sold out.

To soothe my obvious, crushing disappointment, my mom offered to take me grocery shopping. I would have been happier with the shopping (I'd choose TriNoma over Save More any day), but I was so down that I'd have agreed to anything at that point.

And so we shopped. I guess my sadness was so apparent in my face, because Mom didn't stop me from grabbing any and all comfort food that I saw in the grocery store: chocolates, chips, ice cream...

Apparently, I eat my depression. Today's food intake:

five slices of Greenwich's Monster Cheese and Pepperoni Overload
Pizza Fries
half a box of Meiji Macadamia chocolates
about a cup of Selecta Cookies & Cream and Coffee Crumble ice cream
a packet of Milo

*le sigh* By now, the concert is over, and my fellow Dubistas are probably ecstatic about having watched Urbandub's very first major concert (Gabby Alipe, I love you!), while I am sitting here like a total loser.

Urgh. I need to eat some more before I howl with misery.

My musical soulmate is nonexistent

2010-10-19T15:40:00.000+08:00

Most people I know don't share my taste in music. When they scroll through my cellphone's music player, the comment I hear most is, "Ano ba naman 'tong mga kanta mo dito, hindi ko alam!"

Call me hipster, but I don't like music that's too mainstream (with the exception of Fall Out Boy, only my favorite band ever).
My classmates look at me like I'm a freak when I tell them that I don't like Paramore. Reminds me of the time this week when my mom downloaded The Only Exception and Airplanes, which, to my utter vexation, she started playing early in the morning.

I also don't like contemporary music, which is why I think Lady Gaga and Ke$ha—who are basically the same thing, only Ke$ha looks even more like a trashy skank—are overrated.
Weirdly enough, my forty-something Tita Malou listens to the sort of music that kids my age listen to: mostly R&B, hip-hop, the latest dance hits by Usher, B.O.B., whoever. I don't know shit about any new songs.
On the other hand, I listen to the music of her generation: The Cure, The Smiths, a little Pet Shop Boys, OMD...

Speaking of The Cure, I am in love with their songs. Not the instrumentals, since I'm not a big fan of those, but most of their songs with lyrics are fantastic. A Letter to Elise always makes me wanna cry, and High makes me feel giddy in love, even though I'm not.

One of my favorite songs. This makes me feel all bright and shiny and happy and bouncy.

Currently, I have twelve albums downloading in my uTorrent, and I'm still searching for more new songs to add.
If you have the same taste in music, please, please, let me know. I need to find my musical soulmate. (Peter Angelo is not, repeat, not my musical soulmate. He doesn't like The Cure. What blasphemy!)

Poetry for The Best Friend

2010-10-19T00:44:00.002+08:00

Haiku #1:

In his uniform,

with a T-square in his hand,

he always looks stressed.

Haiku #2:

With disheveled hair

and his oddly large eyebags,

he looks like an owl.

Haiku #3:

An oxymoron

Optimistic pessimist

My best friend is weird.

The Best Friend

His jokes are funny,

he likes wordplay and puns.

He calls me sweetie,

I call him cunt.

He holds a paintbrush,

and I'm proud to tell:

he likes to paint,

and he does so well.

We like the same music and read the same books

Though when he said he doesn't like The Cure—

I shot him dagger looks,

and asked, "Are you sure?"

He nodded and said, "Yes, I am,"

To my added infuriation, his books, he refuses to lend.

And I shook my head and yelled, "Damn!

Now I know this friendship will end!"

A letter to Gab

2010-10-18T15:44:00.000+08:00

The other night, my dear friend Gab celebrated her debut. Being part of the eighteen dedications, I was asked to sing a line from a song. I chose the Eraserheads' Huwag Kang Matakot:

Huwag kang matakot. Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako sa iyong tabi? Di kita pababayaan kailanman.

Thank god Ely Buendia wrote that song, because as sappy and sentimental as I am, I find it hard to tell Gab the mushy stuff I usually only tell The Best Friend.

Anyway, since I feel a bit guilty about giving a rather thoughtless gift (Bench boxers), here goes:

Dear Abbey Gaile G. Gatbonton,

It's been more than a year when I started the nickname Gab. It was during Economics class when the stress got a bit much for you and we followed you into the comfort room to comfort you (heh, I am so witty).

Thank you for making me happy for the past several months. Every time I'm with you, I can't help but laugh, and not just because you won't shut your piehole. You always can manage to get a smile (however reluctant) on my face when I want to pull out my hair in misery.

We are always sabaw or lutang or any other word that means acting like we're stoned. Those moments, no matter how random, define our friendship.

On a more serious note, you've always been there for me when I feel like there's no one to listen to me. You take my crap so well and you don't judge me (too harshly) when I recount my crazy adventures and many, many wrong decisions. And for that, I love you.

Not to mention how well you can handle me when I have menstrual cramps and I'm all PMS-y and I bitch and moan and whine about every little thing.

Honestly, I do not know what I would do without you. I will always be here for you, even if sometimes I feel like punching you in the gut. I love you!

Belated happy birthday. You deserve every happiness in the world.

Run for Pasig River

2010-10-18T01:13:00.002+08:00

October 10, 2010. Our NSTP required us to participate in this event.

I woke up at 2AM for said run, so I was determined to enjoy every minute of 10-10-10 (out of which, by the way, everyone made a big deal. I still don't get why people believe it's good luck.)

As with all school-required runs and marathons, my friends and I didn't really "run" as we did "walk" for three kilometers.

Like a bawzz at the finish line!

The run, however, wasn't as tiring as trying to get the Finisher's Band. There was a huge crowd and everybody was pushing each other. Kat's face was nearly shoved into some middle-aged guy's sweaty, hairy armpit. Gross.

One of our dogs got hold of my Finisher's Band.
Now, the wooden square is all splinters.

The next couple hours were spent zonked out in the parking lot, waiting for MOA to open. When hunger overtook us, we circled 'round looking for a restaurant that didn't have a thousand customers lined up *ehem*McDonald's*ehem*.

We ended up in a small resto where our order of four mini-bowls of batchoy took an hour to get served to us.

Luckily, entertainment came in the form of an uncouth STI student who, because of her rudeness, drove away a couple of CEU students. Heh, trashiness is annoying but entertaining as hell.

I let out an evil laugh when I saw that the rude girl's order was taking forever (that's called sinful joy, isn't it, Sir Basas?).

After chowing down, Ava, Aya, Kat, and I finally entered MOA, all sweaty and sticky from the race. The next hours were spent happily [window] shopping.

After weeks of preoccupation and self-absorption, it felt good to hang with my girls again. I missed the YC

Buddies.

Disappointment sinks in amid a haze of cigarette smoke and car exhaust

2010-10-16T14:22:00.000+08:00

Does my absence affect you somehow?
When your hand reaches out, are you disappointed to grasp empty air?
When your eyes scan the room, does your heart sink to find me gone?
When you purse your lips, do you find yourself wishing, even subconsciously, for the taste of mine?

Does my presence affect you somehow?
When your hand grasps mine, do you inwardly cringe and hesitate at my sweaty palms?
What your eyes meet mine, does your heart skip a beat ecstatically?
When you taste my lips, do you find yourself longing for a miracle that would make the moment last forever?

No?
I didn't think so.

Retail Therapy with The Best Friend (again) at TriNoma (again)

2010-10-16T02:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, because it's TriNoma, not just Trinoma.

The fifteenth is Gab's birthday, and she's have the celebration on the sixteenth with the outfit theme of retro-vintage. I do not have anything remotely retro-vintage, owing to the fact that my wardrobe consists of shorts, black shirts, and sneakers, so I asked Peter Angelo if he could accompany me to TriNoma after my final exam.

The first shop we hit was Mental. The last time we went shopping, I saw a gray blouse there which I thought looked totally vintage, but when I tried it on, he was all, "don't get that," so I tried this one:

Blouse/top/whatever from Mental, P750-ish.
My apologies for the sucky pictures and the even suckier set-up.
Was too lazy to find a good spot to shoot my new loot.

Even though the large was a tad too big for me, I instantly fell in love with it. But thanks to the shitty universe constantly conspiring against me, they didn't have it in a smaller size. We spent a lot of time hopping from boutique to boutique, looking for something equally good. After several disappointments (I'm looking at you, Bayo, Kamiseta, Freeway, 101 New York, Guess, and countless other shops I've entered today), I decided to screw this shit and buy the pretty top, even if it was a large.

Next step was to accessorize. Nothing says vintage like pearls, right? The glass-pearl necklace at Aldo cost P600+, almost the same as my new top. Fuck that! I scrimped and went to Pop Culture.

Fake-pearl necklace from Girl Shoppe, for P170

Then, after buying a gift for Gab, we swung by Bench to buy Clearpore. Blackheads are taking over my nose and I wanna look somewhat good for the party tomorrow.

Shopping empties the stomach as well as the wallet, so we wanted to eat. Thing was, we couldn't decide where. I wanted Kenny Rogers, he wanted Burger King. Urgh. Burger King is tasty and whatever, but I'm not really into burgers except for Wendy's Baconators. Besfran said I was the only person he knew who didn't like BK. Uhh, I'm sorry??
Hunger overcame us and we decided to compromise: Taco Bell, again. I ain't complaining, though; I love me my chicken grilled taquitos and cheese quesadillas.

What happened later made me thank the stars that I have Peter for a best friend. It was so nice having a friend who actually liked going to bookstores and obsessing whether or not to get a book that he has been wanting for months—which was J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, if anyone's interested.
I also bought Willful Creatures, a book by Aimee Bender, who I've loved since I've read The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake.

Bought it at Powerbooks for P615.
Ela: *sees book* Uy, uy, Aimee Bender, ayyy!
Peter Angelo: ...geek! Geek! Geek!

Do I still need to blog about the usual epic fails we have when we're together? Particularly the ones where we're so engrossed in the conversation that we forget where we're supposed to go and make our walks longer than it should be? No? I didn't think so.

Before going home, though, we went to Toys'r'Us. Just because.

This is probably the closest thing you'll see to a photo of Peter and I,
because he expressly forbade me to post his picture on my blog.
Killjoy.

Because of this shopping trip, I missed a drinking session with my blockmates, but it was worth it because I got to spend time with one of my best friends.

By the way, sembreak has officially begun! Hell to the yeah!

The last day of Handball

2010-10-14T18:56:00.003+08:00

Every Tuesday, we have PE, and I can't remember whether it was last week or the week before that that my PE-mates (for lack of a better word) and I sat the written finals. I know, who has written PE finals, right? Sucks.

Afterwards, we had breakfast at Jollibee.

After chowing down and camwhoring, a few of us decided to play Rock Band. An hour cost P200 at Usturias, the computer shop beside Tapsi, in Asturias street.

Ava and Jayjay didn't really play, though.
They just watched Gab, Carlo, Tin, and I rock the "instruments".

The drums were the easiest to play.

Gab rocked every instrument she held, including the microphone.
After Rock Band, she said she wanted to take up drum lessons. Lulz.

Got 98% when I sang. ;)

We played nine songs. Lemme see if I can still remember:

No Doubt's Don't Speak
Fall Out Boy's This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race
Dashboard Confessional's Hands Down
Green Day's 21 Guns
Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit
Paramore's Crushcrushcrush
The Killers' Mr. Brightside for the finale, which I sang. Teehee.

That day was bittersweet, though. After that, we might not have the same PE classes, which is a shame because we always have fun together.

It was the best PE class I have had, thanks to these fun people!

The Green Team!
L-R: Ann, me, Aya, our instructor Mr. Calixterio, Tin, Ava, Carlo, Jayjay, and Kevin.

Catch-up Tuesday with The Best Friend

2010-10-13T19:32:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, after sitting my final exams in Rizal and Rational Psychology, Peter Angelo texted me, asking if I'd like to go to TriNoma. We haven't met for over a month, so even though I had a NatSci exam (the subject which I might fail) the following day, I agreed.

Every time I commute with Peter, I always end up somehow looking like a complete jackass. This time, he tickled me in the jeepney, and I jumped. Yes, I fucking leapt, almost into a stranger's lap.

After eating at Taco Bell, we hit Landmark in search of a quarter-sleeve shirt. We also hit Mental and 101 New York. It was in the latter that he found several shirts he liked, including this one:

Okay, so I was gonna upload a photo of him,

but he might be uncomfortable with that, so... yeah, wag na lang.

He ended up buying a black-and-white, checked shirt from 101NY and a white bowtie from Landmark (we dress in monochrome).

Of course I wasn't gonna go home empty-handed—what, was I his personal assistant?—so I wheedled him into buying me something. Anything! So he bought me a really pretty metal lighter for P170.

A funny thing happened then. We were supposed to buy Jamaican Beef Patties for my mom as pasalubong, but as usual, we were so engrossed in our conversation that we didn't notice where we were going. Before we knew it, we were outside TriNoma when we were supposed to go to the food court. Lulz.

Tired from talking, walking, laughing, and going 'round in circles, we flopped down on a bench to rest our feet while listening to Urbandub's A Call to Arms.

There's no point to keep your head facedown, when all we see and know and feel is temporary.

At that moment, we saw fireworks from across the street. Fireworks! Colorful and gorgeous against the night sky. What a perfect way to end an awesome day.

Urbandub's first major concert > Anything else in my entire life, ever

2010-10-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

Ten years. That's how long Urbandub has been creating beautiful, incredible music.

Now they're holding their first major concert and I am gonna be there, goddammit! I just have to:

Ask my mom for money. I'm planning to get the next-best seats, in the Orchestra, which cost P1000. I really wanna get the VIP ones (P1250) which include the best seats and—wait for it—an after-party with Urbandub! But it's limited to forty people, and I don't think I'd make the cut.
Ask my mom for permission. I've got so many plans for the sembreak that my mom would probably go nuts. However, this is Urbandub. Urbandub! She knows how much this would mean to me. I'll cry until she caves, I swear to god.
Find out how to get to the venue. One word: Taxi.

First two shouldn't be easy, but for Urbandub (especially Gabby Alipe), I would do anything. Everything.

Ticket information is available here, for anyone else interested in going. And who the hell wouldn't be interested in going? It's Urbandub, for the love of god! :D

A Date at Cafe Lidia

2010-10-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

Friday before last, I didn't go to class and slept in. When I woke up, Mom suggested that we go out.

We've been dying to eat at this restaurant called Cafe Lidia, located in Calumpang (is it with a C or a K? I never really knew), Marikina. It's been featured on a TV show and the food looked pretty good, so we gave it a shot.

Even as I entered the restaurant, I knew it was gonna be great. The sucky cellphone pictures don't do justice to the pleasant, country ambiance of the place.

I had my favorite, seafood marinara. Carbonara used to be my favorite, but I learned that marinara is healthier than cream-based sauces, so I feel a little less like a fat pig when I opt for this.

I want to call these the Before and After shots of my plate,
but I was halfway through my pasta when it
occurred to me to take a photo.

For dessert, I ordered a slice of... Of... Chocolate-paradise-something-like-that-oh-shit-I-forgot!

Before the food arrived, though, I was pretty annoyed with my mom, who was absorbed in her new cellphone and the free WiFi in the place. She was all up on Facebook and I was sulking because I don't like it when I'm with someone and I'm being ignored for a cellphone.

I missed hanging out with my mom. Not at home, when we're both on short fuses for nearly every little thing. I miss going out with her, shopping, eating, talking, laughing at the crazy things she comes up with.

Mission Impossible: Be a good daughter.

My face is so lulzy in this photo.

Optimism Challenge: Day I-Don't-Know-Anymore-Coz-We-Haven't-Done-This-Recently

2010-10-08T00:12:00.000+08:00

As of 11:59PM, I have officially concluded that October 7, 2010 was a happy day.

The weird thing is, I don't know why. Nothing exciting has happened; in fact, it was an incredibly average day. Went to school. "Studied". Had a quiz. Ate dinner with Gab and Bru. Bought pastries from Goldilocks. Went home. Logged on the the Internetz instead of studying.

Still, throughout the day, I have had a smile on my face. Ask Gab, and she'll tell you that I haven't had a day this consistently happy since... Shit, I can't even remember.

Anyway, in keeping with the Optimism Challenge with Vivien that we seem to have abandoned, here are things that made me happy today:

Had a two-hour nap before getting ready for school
Took my sweet time going to UST because I took the chance that there was no English class
Had crazy fun with Gab in TYK, just being complete idiots
Got 5/10 in the objective part in our History quiz. Sounds pretty low, but it's 75%, so... Shove it up your ass.
Actually had fun, for the first time, in Rational Psychology. Sir Luna asked us to evaluate him, and after that, the class took photos.
Ate at McDonald's with Gab, Bru, and Rod, Gab's friend from high school
Got the last seat on the bus

Trivial, yes, but perhaps optimism—and sometimes, happiness, for I believe they are two different things—is all in the mind, how you try to view things. And today, the glass is half-fucking-full. :D

You know you're emotionally damaged when you get your jollies off of your friend's depression.

2010-10-07T23:40:00.002+08:00

So I blogged about how depressed I was Tuesday before last. Later that night, I chatted with Peter Angelo, one of the few people who could cheer me up when life gets me down too much. True to form, he made me feel so much better, although he didn't know it.

See also: Why I am an Awesome Best Friend

Call me superficial and sappy, but I like it when I could cheer people up. It makes me feel like I'm doing something good with my life, that I'm not just bumming around.

Maybe this is just my emotional crap speaking, but I love the fact that my friends come to me when they have problems. Shows they trust me, see. Shows that I'm actually someone worth having, worth trusting, worth talking to about everything.

That just makes me feel all bright and shiny inside and makes me forget how damaged I feel.

On sembreak and sleep deprivation and the fact that they both start with an "s"

2010-10-07T00:34:00.000+08:00

After the Finals on the fifteenth, I will be halfway through my second year of college. Makes me realize how fast time is flying.

Anyway, I don't want my sembreak to be the usual boring routine I fall into so very often (eat-sleep-Internet-DVD is all I do during sembreaks), so I've come up with a list of things to do during the days of freedom soon to come.

Attend Gab's birthday celebration on the sixteenth. Swimming pools, alcohol, good friends—yay!
Explore Manila. I have been dying to do this for months. Must-sees: Chinatown and the National Museum.
Have a sleepover at my San Mateo residence (LOL, saying residence makes me feel like a bawzz) with Bru and other friends who might be interested in taking the long commute just to pig out, watch movies, and talk all night.
Urbandub concert. NEED I SAY MORE? Seriously?
Spend time with Tumblr Loves, whom I miss so much. I haven't been hanging out with them because... to be honest, I myself don't know. It just felt like I had too much to do and too little time to do it, and poor time management to boot.
Get a piercing, which I have been aching to do for two years. The thing is, I've remained undecided as to where I'd like one. I was decided on a tongue ring, until Plaridel told me it was already overrated, which made me want an industrial pierce, until he told me it was one of the most painful piercings. Plaridel keeps crushing my dreams. I don't know why.

Tell me, is this or is this not utterly awesome?

I'll only be able to do all these if my mom lets me out of the house. I've been out of the house a lot lately. (I ought to make 5.: Spend time with mom.)

The past couple of weeks have been crazy busy and have deprived me of so much sleep that I keep falling asleep on buses and jeepneys. Hell, last Tuesday morning, I was actually falling asleep standing in the shower! Seriously!

To unwind, on Friday, I'm going out with Babs and his friends from Engineering. Should be fun.

Just an ordinary day, somewhat.

2010-10-04T20:20:00.001+08:00

In an attempt to finish my paper, I slept at 4:20 this morning and woke up two and a half hours later, cranky and exhausted. My mood was terrible and my swollen eyes made me look like shit. All I wanted to do was sleep.

During NatSci, Babes offered to switch seats so I could sleep without Ma'am Garcia seeing me. Being the gushy, mushy, sap that I am, I was touched at this small gesture of kindness she showed just so I could catch some Zzz's.

Eating at Auribel with the YC Buddies, I realized how much I've been away for the past few weeks, and how much I've missed them. Seriously.

I'm just gonna leave this here.
I love you guys!

After having a quick talk with my NSTP instructor because I didn't attend my practical exams (#IAmABadStudent), I went home. Lately I've been coming home from 7PM-1AM, so it felt really weird to ride the tricycle home when the sun was still in the sky.

It was just an ordinary day. It surprises me that I'm quite happy.

Somewhere in Manila, we fell in love.

2010-10-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

1:24 on a Thursday afternoon. With your hand in mine, determinedly walking 'round in circles, we found ourselves lost somewhere between Taft and Quiapo. The sun scorched us from overhead, and I could practically smell my hair burning. Crowds of unfriendly people jostled us back and forth. The scent of ihaw-ihaw wafted to our nostrils from the small stall we passed just a second ago.

"Where are we going?" you asked, fed up.

I shrug. "Dunno. I just wanna go somewhere new, somewhere beautiful."

"Somewhere new and beautiful here in Vito Cruz? Are you kidding me?" Exasperation marred your tone.

"No," I insisted, pulling away from your grip, "there must be some smidgen of beauty left in this city. I need some inspiration. Don't you feel like that from time to time?"

"A smidgen of... Fuck that shit." You folded your arms in that way I knew preceded a sermon, and I braced myself for the upcoming verbal assault on what you would call my folly.

"Every day with you, I learn something new, and it's never too trivial for me. Never boring. It's all new, and exciting, and refreshing.

And have you ever really looked in a mirror? You say you want to see something beautiful, but you don't even try to see it in yourself.

I don't need to go places to get inspired. I'm with you all the time, aren't I?

You know what? Screw this shit. Let's go home."

Stunned into silence, I let you take my hand into yours. Suddenly, the sun seemed a little less hot, the people a little less unfriendly, and the smell of ihaw-ihaw the most delicious aroma I have ever inhaled.

Me and the imaginary boyfran

2010-10-03T02:46:00.003+08:00

For several months, I've been talking about a guy who's very close to my heart.

In the picture is me with my arm around Desmond. He's an irregular student and a classmate in Rational Psychology. He's taking up AB Philosophy and plans to take up law, like me.

Desmond Jose Esteban Blumentritt y Camaroncocido, or Des, as I affectionately call him, is named such because of his Spanish roots. His great-great-great grandfather was a pure-blooded Spaniard named Esteban Vihaio, the cabeza de barangay of Laguna.

Desmond and I are in a complicated, on-again/off-again relationship. Constant arguments mar every barkada outing that we attend. It's embarrassing, but my friends got used to it.

Even though Des and I fight all the time, I love him because when it matters, I can count on him to back me up, especially when no one takes my side.

_________________________________________________________________

Reading this through, I just fully realized for the first time how pathetic I must be. An imaginary boyfriend? Seriously? Am I really that lonely that even my real friends can't make me happy? Now, that's just sad, is what it is.

1:14 Sunday morning

2010-10-03T01:18:00.002+08:00

Once again, I find myself awake at 1AM. Not because I've been out, or surfing the Internet, or talking to my best friends, but because of my research paper for English.

Even though this is a lengthy paper that requires a lot of work, I'm pretty stoked to write it. Probably because the topic—architecture—is something I'm really interested in. Also, probably because I'm this huge sucker for writing academic papers. Go on, call me a nerd.

Speaking of papers, I'm glad to report that I have finally finished one in Rizal. Yay, me! Four to go (it used to be five, but I found out that we were going to write one in class, so minus one. YAY MATH SKILLS)

I've been so busy that I haven't even had time to clean my room for weeks now. It looks like this:

Yes, those are bra straps.

I've also been sleeping on the couch because after I turn the computer off, I'm too zonked to even go upstairs to crash on my bed.

On my family and the L-word

2010-10-02T00:32:00.003+08:00

Last week, I blogged about how my granny was confined in the hospital for pneumonia. She's out of the hospital now, but I remember the only time I visited: as Mama and I were leaving, I kissed Lola's cheek and said, "Bye, 'la. Pagaling ka. Love you."

I forgot what she replied, but she smiled, and that was good enough for me.

I love you. I have always had difficulty in saying that to my family. We're not exactly the touchy-feely type; we have fun with each other, but we're not emotionally open. I sometimes find it hard to tell my mom that I love her; how much more the less close members of my family?

It was also only last September 16 that I told Mommy (or Tita Bebe—I just call her Mommy. Mommy is different from Mama.) I love you. It was her birthday, and I told her that only through text. I know Mommy really loves me, and it made me feel like shit, being afraid to tell her I love you straight to her face.

Why the hell am I like this? I have no qualms telling my friends (especially Mojz, Gab, Kat, and Peter Angelo) that I love them, but I can't even say it to my own flesh and blood. Jesus, I suck at life forever.

On riding airconditioned buses.

2010-09-30T23:50:00.002+08:00

Title is a twist of Tin's blog title. My wit is razor-sharp.

On my way home tonight, I took the only available seat on the bus. To my disappointment, it wasn't a window seat.

I like window seats. I like looking outside and watching as I whiz by the surroundings: cars, trucks, motorcycles, the wide sea of paved cement. Looking out on the streetlights and the people and the rows of dirty, deeply uninteresting buildings soothes my spirit.

Tonight, however, I didn't get a chance to see all that.

I guess I like window seats because seeing everything fly by provides me the comforting illusion that I am going somewhere, that I am moving forward in a specific direction, instead of being trapped in a confining metal cage they call a bus.

Crappy Days are Here Again

2010-09-29T01:41:00.003+08:00

This Tuesday started out like any other. Early morning PE, we lost the handball game as usual, had fun with fellow Green Team members. Since it was our last game day, we took lots of pictures with Babes' camera.

(L-R): Jayjay, me, Tin, Ava (Babes), Aya, Kevin

Not in picture: Carlo (who's sick with dengue) and Ann

With our handball instructor,

who specifically requested to take a picture with all the teams.

I then spent the rest of the morning with my friends, studying for the Math finals later that afternoon. We expressed a common desire to cut English class to study, but decided against it.

Fast-forward to Math class: Final examinations. Last chance to redeem ourselves and our grades. It could have gone better—in fact, I think I only just passed the exam by a fraction.

An hour and a half later, Rational Psychology came 'round. We had a quiz I didn't study for, mostly because I was so focused on the Math finals, but also partly because I was reading my new copy of Kikomachine Komix Blg. 3.

Anyhoodle, during RatPsych, as our professor was giving out our papers, he took me aside for a moment to show me my grade, and told me to compute for my preliminary grade. I already knew then that it wasn't gonna be good.

After a minute's computing by Denyang, I got my grade. 75. Seventy-fucking-five. It was all I could do not to howl. My pride was crushed. After all, I survived Dr. Co, the Venerable Master, and I couldn't get past this class? Seriously, Ela? Seriously?

I was feeling so crummy that I almost—almost—cried. (Emphasis on almost because I do not like to cry, especially in front of people.) Thank god I have amazing friends who tried to cheer me up. We had dinner at Lover's Lane, had a long talk about life, love, and school.

And when it was only Gab, Bru, and I, they picked apart my psyche until they concluded this:

"Malungkot ka kasi may gusto kang di mo makuha, at di mo maamin 'to sa sarili mo kasi ma-pride ka."

That's some big talk for eighteen-year-olds, but they hit the nail right on the goddamn rusty head.

Posting this for posterity. Abbey & Kat are the most incredible friends a person could possibly have, and to think that they have the patience to put up with a crazy bitch like myself—they are possibly martyrs.

How strange to have a paper love.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye!

STRESSED!

Youtube-isms

Best. Dream. EVER.

Baby, you're a firework!

Condoms are the new contraband over at Ayala Alabang

On the joys/pains of being fifteen

Imba

Valentine's Day 2011

Happy Overrated Day!

The Collective Fail

Meiday! Meiday!

The Versatile Blogger

UST Main Building camwhorage

Celebrating 400 years of unending grace

Ako'y nagagalak matawag na isang Tomasino!

Books, AKA the blog post I wrote while waiting for The Best Friend to go online (damn it, what is taking you so long?!)

Trying to read palms and peer into crystal balls just makes the future even scarier

Epic week

Yearbook

Last of 2010

Things I am into right now

Christmas 2010

How fat *am* I? God!

Hipster ▲

Obligatory Christmas post

Paskuhan 2010

You have had your fill of me.

ASPC is possibly the shittiest thing I have encountered on Facebook, including the "I'm Awesome!" page!

90's cartoons are still the best.

Sucky pictures + Sucky captions = Sucky blog entry

Cumolonimbus

Bondage

Depression Junkie

For posterity: How I feel right now about Future Boyfriend

This post is about Tumblr, but I am posting it on Blogspot. What what what

On being a free bitch, baby

Tumblr Meet-up at MOA (Or yet another example of how I suck at titles)

Hume-Helga sa blog about hair

Shopping > Harry Potter

Cliff

Tongue ring *~is love~*

Metanoia

Little Miss Liar

Way to end the first week back to school!

Wild Mood Swings

Movies, movies, and movies!

Yay, Amex!

In my room, now!

Why I blog

Strawberry shampoo

Burning cash

YC "Reunion"

Distance

Talent is sexy.

My new theme is awesome and don't you say otherwise

A letter to future boyfran (and no, it's not Desmond)

No Urbandub for me

My musical soulmate is nonexistent

Poetry for The Best Friend

A letter to Gab

Run for Pasig River

Disappointment sinks in amid a haze of cigarette smoke and car exhaust

Retail Therapy with The Best Friend (again) at TriNoma (again)

The last day of Handball

Catch-up Tuesday with The Best Friend

Urbandub's first major concert > Anything else in my entire life, ever

A Date at Cafe Lidia

Optimism Challenge: Day I-Don't-Know-Anymore-Coz-We-Haven't-Done-This-Recently

You know you're emotionally damaged when you get your jollies off of your friend's depression.

On sembreak and sleep deprivation and the fact that they both start with an "s"

Just an ordinary day, somewhat.

Somewhere in Manila, we fell in love.

Me and the imaginary boyfran

1:14 Sunday morning

On my family and the L-word

On riding airconditioned buses.

Crappy Days are Here Again

How fat am I? God!

Tongue ring ~is love~